LD50- "Leona Divide 50m" or "Lethal Dose 50%." Take Your Pick.

Disclaimer: Some content and language is not suitable for children under the age of 18.

Leona Divide 50m came and went on Saturday. I was super excited for this race. Other than track 5ks, I've never raced southern California. I was especially excited to get on the PCT trail- the pictures I furiously google image & race report stalked were gorgeous.

Drawing course maps > Studying

The weekend before the race, as if I wasn't nervous enough, I got sick. I was congested, super tired, and felt overall very very crappy. For me, when I get sick, I still regain a high level of functionality and can go about daily activities (work, school) fine, but running sucks and I feel terrible. I took sunday off and tried blasting my system with every immune-boosting thing I could think of. I chugged EmergenC like it was coffee- my life depended on it. Tuesday I attempted a very light track workout but was so slow, heavy and wrecked. I took pretty much the rest of the week off & laid low after advice from Stephanie Howe and other friends.

Friday I shook out for 20 minutes and drove down with my (much more sick) roommate to her house in Simi Valley. I stayed the night there then woke very, very early after a fitful, nervous, not very sound sleep to drive the rest of the way to Santa Clarita.

I was pumped. I was excited, feeling a bit better and ready to go. I was so thrilled to test my limits in a 50 miler (I ran TNF50 for "fun" and just cruised comfortably & casually). I had so much confidence in myself and really, really trusted in my training. Meghan's advice was to challenge myself. Who knew that that would take on a whole new meaning....

Obviously too optimistic Pre-race

Seeing friends Billy Yang and Gina Lucrezi at the start was so welcome as I didn't know anybody else. Gina and I started out together, we were in the lead, and I tried my hardest to take it casual in the beginning. We were running up 2.75m to the PCT trail and then would go out and back in both directions. (See course map for reference so you know what the heck I'm talking about if you are not familiar with this course). I stopped to pee and she kept going, so I was just content on keeping her in my sights. I ran a couple miles with Billy, which was super fun, and I loved talking to someone. Though, he turned at the first aid station for the 50k and I had to keep going. At this point, I was feeling "alright". I assumed it was just a matter of shaking off the cobwebs from not running at all in the past week, and that soon I would be warmed up. (Again, would take on a different meaning once the sun came fully out).

Going up the hill from that AS, the woman who would go on to win, passed me. I was kind of struggling to get a rhythm and tried talking to her to bring myself to a better place, but she just replied, "sorry but I'm breathing out of my ass!" I let her go and figured I could definitely catch her on the downhill, my specialty. We had a 6 mile downhill to the second AS, at mi 17.5, which was also the first turnaround. On the downhill, my legs were not responsive. I stumbled over rocks and was cursing myself. On the previous climb I was wishing I hadn't even started, as a DNF idea was being entertained. Multiple guys passed me on the downhill and I could barely pick my feet up. Everything was so forced! By this point, I had tucked my skirt into the liner shorts (Real attractive look. Seriously, holla at me boys) because I was just so frustrated with life and hot and not having a good time. Misery at it's "finest." I saw Gina close to the AS on her return as well as the blue-skirt lady and exchanged high fives and words of mumbled encouragement (It was already BLAZING balls hot out.) Gina was 12 minutes in front of me at that point. I don't know why I didn't think to drop there, maybe I told myself I'd keep going, to at least get SOME mileage out of a taper week and training. But then I also had to go up that god-forsaken 6 mi hill. FML.

Cause sparkles make you faster, duh.

At first, I struggled. But then I just set my sights low on pace and chugged. Surprisingly, I managed and got up it in around 70mins. I was definitely off my suspected 8 hr pace, but the guy I strava stalked made it up in the same time, so I gave myself a little pat on the back for that. At this point, a woman, Ms. Neon shirt, came up and was topping out the hill with me. We ran for a stretch along the top but she gapped me towards the middle of the downhill back to the aid station. At this point in time, I had already written a DNF race report in my head, played out my phone conversation with Meghan, and accepted deep in my heart that I would DNF for the first time and not finish my 9th ultra. I reasoned that several runners have DNFed on a not-so great day and that it was fine; I'd live to fight another day, another race... I stumbled down the hill, not so much from my heavy legs, but from the tears building up in my eyes. I was crushed in every aspect of the word.

I came upon the aid station, mi 26, in the midst of cheers and horns and cowbells. What should have been a spirit booster and ragin' good time. They asked me what they could do and I just started sobbing, repeating "I don't want to finish". They sat me down in a chair and put ice on my back, while I cried my heart out. I can't remember the last time I cried that hard. Usually, when it is hot and dry, my nose bleeds. (My nose was a bloody boogery mess the whole day- right from the start). So, I was spewing blood, boogers, snot and tears all over this poor volunteer. She was force feeding me coke and otter pops (holy good lord those were effing amazing). Back up on the hill, when I knew I wouldn't continue, I stopped eating and drinking. Big time No No. (By the time I reached the AS I hadn't consumed calories in 1.5hrs). I sat there crying for 20 mins while this saint talked to me about all things- her grad studies, where I studied, where we were from, a story about a cute guy, everything. The tears subsided as I had nothing left. She kept asking me every 5 mins or so if I was ready to get back out there, and I kept responding "No, I'm done. I suck. I don't want to go. I want to go home". She never said okay, she just said well lets wait some more. At one point I stopped my watch, knowing it was final and resolute that I would drop.

This was probably the lowest point I've ever, ever reached in my career as an athlete. (Aside from season-ending injuries). I've never spent more than 10 minutes at an AS and I spent at least 45 there. She kept asking me if I was ready to go and my resolve was getting weaker and weaker. She said, "hey, so I've been dying to get out for a run, you can run out with me for three miles and can turn around and come back at any point, but I will go out three miles. Come with me." I got so fed up with sucking and being miserable and I have no idea why the hell, but I obliged and we set off. I took an otter pop to go and we started booking up the trail. I felt great. Not super fresh, but way better. We had a great conversation, but then three miles flew by. She told me go catch that guy and then she would turn around. (We were passing people like they stood still). I caught him and she bid me farewell with the best hug. I was so grateful. I knew then that I would finish. My time goals and competition goals were completely thrown out of the 87th floor window, but I knew I would get through it. I was happy.

But that doesn't mean that the last 22 were smooth sailing on an otter pop high.... I ran the rest of the way up to that T junction and the AS. I filled my water, grabbed Gu and two cokes. Unfortunately, they did not have otter pops at any other station. I continued on to the last turn around. Go ahead, look at the elevation profile the course website boasts. No. False. That is not an accurate representation of what we suffer through. What seems like small rollies with a short climb, for good measure, to the finish was actually long climbs wrapping exposed mountains. For instance, I'd come around a turn and my initial thoughts would be, "wow! what gorgeous mountains! god, I need to make a mental note of exploring SoCal more!" Low, and behold, we would be waddling our sorry, broken asses up and over those far and distant mountains... I would see a stripe of trail weaving up, of course, one hill and I'd say "nahhhhhh we couldn't *POSSIBLY* be going up there! that's too far..." Then I'd see small dots moving up it. Bloody hell. I was pretty slow heading out to that turn around, I'd walk on some of the uphill, but at least I was generally moving and passing all the 50k-ers. I kept waiting to see the first 50 milers (Cause then I knew I was at least somewhat close to the oasis, I mean Aid station...) Sure enough, after what seemed like eternities, the 50 milers began passing me on their return. I saw the first and second woman. I talked with Neon Shirt for a bit, and encouraged her to chase down the blue skirt lady (They were 20 mins apart).

Oh HELL yeah!

I got to the AS 10 mins later and saw F3 leave. So I thought I was 4th. I quickly filled my bottles and headed out. (Of course after dumping ice down my sports bra and down my "shorts". (Real interesting while running...)) I walked up that short little climb to recoop and process mentally that I only had 10 miles to go. (Good god I was so excited to be done). Then I started running and didn't really stop... That last part went by a lot quickly than before. So, I'll just give you the highlights: after the ice melted a guy thought I peed my pants, I got stung by a bee on my boob, I found out I could jump at mi 44 when I stumbled upon a rattlesnake, and some woman told me "wow you're doing the 50 miler? You look like a goddess!" (It was definitely due to my glorious sun burn radiating from my bloody, sweaty and salty skin). I quickly found out that I was actually 6th female, as I passed two other 50mi runners that I hadn't seen previously. The last woman I passed was walking up a short incline less than two miles from the finish. I had no idea what her legs were like so I was scared that she would catch me. I ran those last two miles like a herd (?) of snakes were chasing me, licking my heels. Once I hit the pavement, with 1.25 mi of pure downhill to go, I let loose. I could smell the barn, as Tera Dube said of her sprint finish at LS50 last weekend. I could taste my blood-booger encrusted lips as I couldn't help but grin ear to ear like a doped out dweeb. I rounded the corner and finished. I had actually freaking finished. Unfortunately, I did not have my mom or dad with me, and was caught in an embrace by RD Keira Henninger and a medic. I kept saying "I finished! I finished!" like some lunatic as they dragged me to a chair. She gave me my medal and 4th overall Female mug, which were beautifully crafted. I congratulated her on an amazing event with an ass-kicking-ly brutal course.

Thanks Keira Henninger for a great event!

I finished 4th female, and something like 9:37 hours. I won my age group (20-29) and beat enough guys to be 25th overall. I am so, so proud to have been able to finish that thing and come out alive. I didn't feel right all day, but still developed a deeper, richer mental strength to use in my impending 100 mile race. I have such an overwhelming amount of love, gratitude and respect to the tireless, energetic & saintly volunteers who really made this day happen for me. Whelp. I challenged myself. I feel I did not run to my potential or ability, which is a bit upsetting and disappointing. I know I can run a lot faster and be more a more aggressive competitor, but given the conditions and my health/mental state, I am just glad to have finished. I don't feel as completely wrecked (save a few blisters and sore feet), so I'm excited to get back out there and try, try again for the next adventure. (Cause, if at first you don't succeed...)

I have an appetite to be my absolute best and push my boundaries, and it's only gotten stronger. Now I really am determined for retribution at the 50 mile distance!

Tiger wearing my lucky T Shirt

HUGE thank you to everyone who supports and encourages me. I really thought about a lot of you and it definitely helped pull me through the rough patches. I am so, so thankful to have so many friends and people in my life that are so inspirational and encouraging- I don't know what I do to deserve it, but I love, love having you all in my life.

Strava data found HERE.

Gear Used:
Stance mid crew socks
TNF Better than naked skirt, singlet, Stow N Go bra
TNF Ultra Cardiac shoes
Julbo Sunglasses
Salomon pack & Soft flasks
1 smooth caffeinator Picky Bar
1 Clif gel every 30 mins
1 salt S!Cap every 30-40 mins
Too many to count Cups of Coke
4 green otter pops, 1 orange. (Pink is my favorite)

"Born To Die"- Marin Ultra Challenge 50k

"Feet don't fail me now, Take me to the finish line

Oh my heart it breaks, every step that I take"

-Lana Del Rey

It was totally fitting that Lana del Rey's song Born to Die and those lyrics were the first song I heard when I pressed play on my ipod. It was dark and I was pitter pattering behind Jenny Capel and another lady. We were winding up the first climb under the lights of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was spectacular. It was also starting to hurt.

Ready to Roll with my lucky T shirt.

Toeing the line at the Marin Ultra Challenge 50k I didn't quite know what to expect. Being the weekend after dead week and before finals week, I didn't exactly have the time to do extensive homework on this race. Before the race began, I studied the course map and sharpied the outline of six hills on my arm so I could keep track. (Elevation tat old school style)

Going up that first hill, right from the start, was definitely a good kick in the rear to wake up and get running. I lost contact with Jenny but kept her within sight. Winding up the SCA trail towards Coastal reminded me a lot of CCC- with little lights zip zagging their way up the hill and melting in with the stars. I was so happy that I had managed to last minute find my headlamp in the depths of my car. Going downhill, I let gravity do it's work and rolled along towards Fort Kronkite. It was getting a little bit more light out, enough that I could switch off the headlamp. I had a very short conversation with one guy who asked if I was doing the 50 mile. I laughed and said, looking at my watch, if I were in the 50 mile I would be in deep trouble later. He laughed and replied, "I'm in the 50k, too, but I'm starting to think I'll be in trouble anyways"

I had almost caught back up with Jenny, but the man and her skirted up Hill 88, or as I like to refer to it, "the hill of eighty-hates". I hate that climb, no matter what distance race I am doing. Stairs, steepness, soul-suckingness. I powerwalked the stairs and somehow made it up the rest of the climb. I was heavily rewarded with one of the most stunning sunrises I've seen; gorgeous colors in crisp air veiled Mt. Tam and the hills on that side, as well as golden sunlight caressing the Headlands and setting fire to San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Home sweet home. Thanks Daddy!

Taking in the sunrise, I was also greeted by Kara Teklinsky and her friends out for a run- I got a nice high five from her. (Thank you! Made my morning!) Heading downhill on Wolf Ridge, something in my stomach wasn't right. I had started taking in my gels at forty minute intervals with one right before the start, and a salt tab the first hour (and then subsequently at forty minute intervals). Unfortunately, my usual breakfast was too heavy for that kind of big effort and fast exertion. (steel cut oats with almond butter, blueberries, scrambled egg, coffee & almond milk). It made it known that that was the cause, if you know what I mean. This was at mile 8ish, but I only had stopped for less than three seconds, and continued rolling downhill towards Tennessee Valley. At that aid station I filled my bottle and continued down the road towards Coastal. I wasn't feeling comfortable or very good at all. I took a glance at my watch and apparently I was going 7:20 pace. Well no wonder! I didn't really slow down though... At this point, I was running alone; I had passed a couple men, but nobody stuck with me. My shorts had been falling down on all the downhills and "flats", which was super frustrating, but I didn't dare stop to try and fix them... Oh, well.

Jorge telling people what to do and me studying. Typical.
PC Michael Stricklan

I have always known Coastal from Tennessee Valley to Muir Beach to be deceptively tough. Though, I think going into that section knowing it would be tough, made it not seem AS bad... I still wasn't feeling great going along here, probably just the uncomfortable-ness of running hard and nearing the halfway point. So, to compensate, I took a Clif Double shot espresso gel at my forty minute mark. I took two with me as these guys work "magic" as my emergency revival reserves. At Muir Beach, I was ready to go.

Running down the road and along Redwood Creek, I felt I was moving pretty well. My stride felt good and I was happy to be back in my favorite place. In the weeks prior since Bandera, Meghan has given me some fun workouts and they've really boosted my confidence. One of them, I had struggled to do in the past year when she had given it to me, but in February, I nailed it and so I had that happiness in my back pocket. She's been such an incredible coach & role model in my life- I can't believe its only been ONE year that she's coached me! I thought about her a lot and tried to channel her TOUGHness & Badassery. On this section of trail, I passed several men (I kept hoping to run back into Jenny, but she is just too good on the climbs!). I took one unmarked turn and thought I had gotten lost. However, I knew where the next climb was and that the trail would take me there, so I kept going. (Don't worry, I was still on course after all; benefits of racing home turf!) Heading up Miwok (pronounced "Me-Walk"), I was struggling. I was in the paincave and had been from the get go. I was trying to hold on for dear life. I had the worst cramps ever (period pains I'm pretty sure) but it could've been from the Gu. I just didn't want to eat at all, but I knew I had to. I kept wanting to slow down or stop, but I knew that I was already in this so I couldn't quit, and to run faster would mean I would finish faster.

Coastal mid Gu.
PC Nate Dunn

Reaching the top, I was ecstatic. One of my favorite downhills in Marin was Dias Ridge trail to Muir Beach (again). I was running at full speed down, sliding around the switchback turns. If I wasn't in so much discomfort, I would've had a lot of fun with that. There was one man who was with the SFRC group run that talked to me for a bit. He was telling me about his Ragnar team and how he was training for that. He was also talking about his Way Too Cool 50k and who won and how everybody in the area did (I didn't have the energy to tell him I already knew- haha!). He was very nice and cheered for me / shouted encouragements when I was heading into the Muir aid station. (He was peeling off to head up what I call the "Muir Bitch Climb"- Thank god we didn't have to do that). On this little out and back I finally saw Jenny! I knew I was close! I rushed in, filled my bottle, grabbed a dixie cup of coke and rushed out ASAP.

The entire time going up Middle Green Gulch ("Middle Mean Gulch"), I could see her little black skirt and blue singlet weaving above me. She is too tough on those climbs and I couldn't catch back up. Heading back down to Tennessee Valley I was in a world of pain.

The song playing on my ipod resonating deeply:

"Hold on tight, it's a roller coaster ride we're on.

So say goodnight, cause we won't be back again.

Up and Down (I'm) All around,

Say Goodnight And Goodbye" - Jonas Brothers

Finalllllllyyyyyyy

I was grunting up Marincello and probably making a scene but I didn't care. (I have no nicknames for Marincello other than some special words). The hill seemed never ending because as soon as it was finished, come Alta, and then the deceivingly not flat or downhill SCA. At the top of Marincello I heard someone call my name and I forget what she said, but it turned out to be Lauri! (Thanks girl!) It was really nice to hear a familiar voice and was the kick in my butt I needed to get into higher gear. I was almost done, I could push extra hard now. On Alta, I saw Mrs. Semling, a teacher from my high school out for a hike. She said good job on my "fifteen mile run" (didn't have the energy to correct her, nor was I able to form words) and said she'd tell Mary Churchill, my high school coach & friend, that I was doing well- haha little did she know I had plans with Mary for later!

Once I hit the SCA trail going down to the bridge parking lot, I tried to let it all hang out there. I had no water left, and less than two miles to go. That downhill hurt like a bitch. Just when I was getting to the parking lot though, I saw Dylan Bowman on a stretcher and an ambulance/ fire truck crew helping him with Harmony. I had no idea what had happened, but it freaked me out seeing him like that! (He had suffered in the heat and had severe dehydration, but is on the mend now and thankfully okay!)

aaaaannnndddd I'm going down....

Winding down the road towards the finish, under the Golden Gate Bridge, I caught sight of Jenny. I was determined to catch her. I ignored the sirens going off in my legs and tried to move faster, faster faster... She just kept getting out of reach each turn! According to my watch, I was running 6:20 pace trying to catch her- damn her legs can just keep rolling out of reach! I finished the race 30 seconds behind her in 5:06 for 4th place women's, 24th overall, and 2nd (well that's a first!!) in the 20-29 AG. I immediately sat down on the ground and a couple people came over to say goodjob. (I don't exactly remember, but I do know that Victor came over asking if I'd lie down in a fetal position for another picture haha!) My legs hurt a LOT after, but I was so happy to be done and so happy I was able to push myself and keep pushing myself. I got to chat with friends after the race and was so happy to see them. However, it was short lived as I had to wake up at 4:45 am to drive back to SLO for work the next morning (boy was that rough), and study for finals (ugh). I had wanted really badly to think about or talk with fellow racers about stuff that will be covered on my Immunology final, but I was literally unable to think , I was in such an incapacitated brain fog!

Next up, I have Leona Divide 50m! I'm so excited to explore SoCal's trails and try at another 50m distance- this time actually racing it! I also have registered for Pine to Palm 100m and I'm very much looking forward to that.

What Finals Week does to you....

HERE is my strava data from the race.

It's a known fact Sparkles make you faster

Gear Used:

TNF Ultra "Heart Attack" Cardiac shoes

Stance mid-calf compression socks

TNF Better than Naked shorts & Stow N Go Bra (to hold my Gu and ipod!)

Gu- Salted Watermelon x3, Roctane x2, Clif Double Shot Espresso x2. 

S!Caps kept in my Nathan water bottle

Whoops Julbo sunglasses & Petzl Tikka RXP headlamp

A little Soul Searching

A couple weeks ago, I entered Geoff Roes' contest on IRunFar. The rules were to submit a short essay answering the simplest and most difficult question in my athletic career: Why do you run? I have been asked this on countless occasions: by my unsuspecting, curious lab partners; by other runners hoping to find common grounds; and many times by myself. This question allowed me to consider experiences and feelings as to what draws me out the door at any hour of the day. It was an insightful exercise and definitely made me appreciate all the little things that culminate into my pursuit and passion for running.  While I somehow made the final three cut, I actually entered the contest with no intention of winning anything; just simply to share my thoughts and unveil some deeper meaning for myself, so, voila! The results of the contest can be found HERE.

A Rad Group of totally awesome friends I have made in SLO.
PC Tera Dube

Why I Run.

My footsteps crunching through the dirt creates a sort of rhythmic pattern of sounds. I focus on that for a little bit; duh dum duh dum… The tunnel of light guiding me forward casts creeping, shadows looming behind trees. They whisper to me in a language I cannot understand, but at the same time, it’s as if I’m one of them, gliding along. For the first time in 16 hours, I am alone. There are no monsieurs grunting a bonsoir, no fanatic fans practically falling off a balcony screaming ALLEZ, and no lights anywhere around me. I can only guess by the way the ground is sloping up that I am nearing that last climb. My ipod has died. I am already 23 miles farther than I have ever run in my life with about 8-10 left, praying I don’t get lost. Coming around a turn, I gaze upon an unending trail of star-like headlamps stretching up, up, up like a zipper. This is all I remember from the last nine hours of my first 100k race- the CCC in France.

            Most 20 year olds prefer to stay out all night or spend all of Sunday in the library. So why do I wake up at 4:30 am to run for 6hrs with a group of folks, who, most of which, are twice my age? I do it for moments when everything clicks and I get at least 3ft of air bounding over rocks, roots and wildflowers. For the sunrises, sunsets, and that bewitching golden hour. For that tingling, numbing sensation and when the tears come pouring out, unwarranted in the last mile of a race. For the smiles, high fives, and stories received from the dude that I just bonded with while suffering in the heat during miles 20-27. For the moments that are so full of pain and anguish and despair, my ego gets a serious reality check. But mostly for the candid routine of tying my shoes, because it’s not so much of why I do it, how I do it, etc, but that it makes me who I am.

Run With Us by Strava (HERE) also highlights these feelings...
PC &VC Luis Pena

Race Report: Bandera 100k

Shaking it out with Fernando!

Texas, where everything bites, stings and burns. How true is that statement! To start out, I’d like to say I went into this race with a fat ego, thinking it would be pancake flat, fast and I’d get my MUC spot to Western States. I’d had a great TNF50 race while feeling oh so casual. Very early into this race would my ego meet it’s match…

 Following TNF50, December was all about maintaining fitness and recovering. Sliding around in the mud in the Marin Headlands for 50 miles had caused the posterior tendon on my ankle to give me some issues as well as that calf felt pretty tight, thus resulting in mild footpain whenever I hit technical trails. This gave me some cause of concern because all I had heard about Bandera was that it was very rocky and technical. I trusted in my abilities to maneuver such terrain, but spent most of December running on roads, fire roads or smooth singletrack. I had also been doing several runs at midday to prepare for the Texas heat…

Prerace: clean, a little warm, & confident

 Fast forward to days before the race, while in SLO I casually pulled up the weather forecast for Bandera on Saturday. The high was predicted to be 32 degrees with a chance of snow. What?! Race history has typically been in the 60s-70s with humidity. All of a sudden I had no idea what I would wear, what I would do for nutrition and what would happen. I kinda panicked a bit…

"Multicolored nails are the secrets to success"- Rory Bosio

 

Thursday Jan 8^th, I flew to San Antonio and met up with Fernando, a great friend from SF. We drove to Bandera and stayed the night just outside of town. I wore a single long sleeve, two different types of gloves and shorts on our Friday shakeout to test how cold it really was. My mom flew into Texas that night as she would crew for me all Saturday. Pretty soon it was race morning and I was sitting nervously sipping coffee. HERE is the women’s race preview.

I had to put my age group bib on my butt....

The gun went off and we went racing up the trail. The sun had just risen and it was still very, very cold. We immediately began climbing up the first hill. It was short, but the rocks were like stairs and the previous day’s rainfall had given them a nice fresh coat of ice. I settled with a couple women: Aliza and I think Nicole, but then they moved up and I joined another couple women: Leslie, Ashley & Traci. We were talking casually and getting to know each other. One of the funnier moments of the day was, I think it was Leslie and Ashley, were talking about how many/how old their kids were. They then asked me if I had any kids, to which I frantically responded “No! I’m twenty!!” Then they asked me if I was married! Haha! Not even close!

Where do I put these gels? (PC Victor B.)

This was the start- as none of us were covered in blood...

The first 15 miles or so were uneventful. Traci and I were rolling along and chatting some. The sotol was alive and well on the trail, which quickly bloodied up our legs pretty good. (She had pants so she didn’t really feel it). In these first 17 or so miles I was running relatively well, but it wasn’t with the ease I felt at TNF50. The trail was rocky, covered in ice, slick mud, or clay-like mud that sticks to your shoes, making them feel like bricks. Traci pulled away from me and I soon got into a rhythm with another guy, who happened to be from the Bay Area. We chatted some, but around mile 26, I started to feel really really crappy. My legs were hurting on the brutally steep, rocky downhills and the climbs were very steep as well. I was losing it mentally and I was cold. I really wanted to drop at the 50k. I had been thinking about it all those miles leading up to it. But I was also thinking about all the people back home cheering me on and supporting me. Also, I though about calling my coach Meghan post-drop and trying to explain to her why I had to DNF. None of my reasons were good enough and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down and I didn’t have any physical ailment hindering me other than it just sucked and I was tired. (My foot pain- didn’t feel it once!) Once I got to 50k, my mom and Victor Ballesteros were there. I grabbed two advil, more Gu, a Clif Double Shot Espresso and was turned around so quickly I didn’t have a chance to drop. So I figured I might as well finish it…

Heading up the first hill, I was greeted with more & more Sotol. I learned I was in 7^th place and Leslie and Traci were hot on my tail. I had passed Traci heading up to the climbs towards the 50k mark and Leslie ran into the start/finish as I was headed out for the second loop. I saw a woman in all Buff gear climbing up. This further gave me motivation and I used a burst of speed to pass her. On the downhill, I smoked her; she was daintily avoiding the rocks whereas I just hurdled them. Soon, I couldn’t see her behind me and relaxed a bit. The game plan was to take the first 50k conservatively, use the second loop to move and give it my all on the last 10 miles especially. Pretty soon, I was running by myself with nobody to be seen and along rolling, gray, boring terrain. That part was tough. I had my ipod to keep me company.

Coming into Last chance at mi 26.

I came into the aid station at mile 42 and asked what place I was and how far ahead the others were. They didn’t know how far ahead they were, but I was now in 5^th place as Melanie had just dropped. I knew 5^th and 4^th were together at the 50k, so I figured she couldn’t be much farther ahead. I tried running faster and making up lost time, but I was so depleted and the mud and ice didn’t allow for very fast running. I had a glimmer of hope that I may be able to get the MUC spot. I kept repeating my mantras: Meghan had told me to “Be F**king Tough” and I kept telling myself “C’mon, you want this more than anything, where’s your hunger & fire?” The sotol stopped burning and I just didn’t give a sh*t anymore that I was going through a forest of razor blades.

I got to the first Cross Roads aid station a little out of sorts and was a bit rough with my mom and short of patience. I took off on the next, rockier part of that little loop and noticed my water tasted really funny. I couldn’t quite understand why: was I hungry? Was it just bad tap water? Will I get sick from it? I kept sipping it regardless to stay hydrated. Later, I found out when I asked my mom to put salt caps in my bottle (I meant the holder pocket), she had put a handful of them in the actual bottle with the water; I was basically drinking clean ocean water. Ha!

The snow-rain had washed most of it off...

I soon, finished that loop and before I knew it I was back at cross roads. I grabbed my headlamp and headed out for the last ten miles. Game time. I “sped” up (it’s all relative at this point) and kept trying to push myself up and over the climbs. It was really hard at that point. My quads were toast, but I had no idea how far ahead the other women were. My next goal, when I realized I wouldn’t get the MUC spot (I tried not to let this derail me) was to break 11 hours, I was borderline on pace for it, but it was definitely going to be a push. When I hit Last Chance with 5 miles to go and the two worst climbs of the course, I was gunning it. I took another Double Shot espresso and ran as hard as I could. I couldn’t even stop to pee really quickly because I was so focused on finishing. I was so so close! The minutes ticked by even closer to 11 hours and I was still a bit farther out. It was pure anguish at that point. Three of my favorite songs came on, by chance, to take me in: Santana’s “Smooth”, Madonna’s “4 minutes” (fitting for the time frame), and Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”. The final descent came and I was sprinting (again, relatively) at that point. I didn’t care if I was stubbing my toes on the rocks; I just had to get over them as fast as I could possibly muster. I wasn’t even on the homestretch before tears came unknowingly. I ran across the line right into my mom’s arms. (No fetal position with Victor to console me this time!) The race director, Joe Prusaitis, asked how old I was and then remarked to the crowd how he needs to start carding at his races (a 19 yr old ran to 3^rd place). I was given my awards and we drove to the best and only taqueria in Bandera (my mom, Fernando and I).

Looking a little Traumatized

I had finished 13^th overall, 5^th woman (4^th USATF woman), with a time of 11:01.50. (Oh so close). It’s bitingly disappointing to not achieve my goals and not get a spot to Western States 100 (Especially when it was 34 minutes away), but given the conditions and tough as nails competition, I am happy with this accomplishment. I guess I ran a 100k & 50 mi PR, my 2^nd fastest 50k & 4^th fastest 50k… (5:20 & 5:41). I’m pretty humbled and glad to have overcome mental canyons. This blog post was pretty hard to write; I am still feeling upset and down. Most people are asking what is next, and I have no idea. Maybe pursue a spot to WS somewhere else? It’s a tough call. Five weeks between a 50miler and this was hard to do, I don’t know if I can do it again. I am definitely aiming to do a 100 this summer, it’s just difficult to know at the moment. So, I guess stay tuned…

His name is "Waffles"

As always, I am oh so grateful to my supportive family, friends, and community. My mom came to crew me and did a fabulous job of putting up with me and keeping me decently happy for 11 hours, then taking on the mom role of taking care of me post race. All my friends supporting and encouraging me back home was really motivating and I definitely wouldn’t have the strength to finish without thoughts of all of you. Fernando is truly an amazing travel companion and I’d be so lost without him pretty much organizing the trip. World’s best coach award goes to Meghan Arbogast; her advice, knowledge, and friendship means the world to me and I’m so happy to have The Queen as a role model to learn from. Huge shoutout to The North Face for creating amazing gear that kept me warm and content all day long. I’d also like to say I’m super excited to be a part of Julbo’s family for 2015, repping the sickest shades on the market. (They matched perfectly with my outfit) As well as on Petzl’s regional team; I’d be crawling blindly through the hills without the RXP headlamp.

For all those curious, data-analyzing folks out there, HERE is my strava data. Also, HERE is the post race interview with Victor Ballesteros & UltraSportsLive.tv (Note: I am not all “there”, as I literally had JUST finished…)

Gear Used:

Garmin 910xt

Julbo sunglasses- Access

SFRC buff

TNF Ultra Cardiac shoes

TNF rain jacket, light windbreaker, arm sleeves, T shirt, skirt, gloves, Stow N Go Bra

Stance mid-calf compression socks

Petzl Tikka RXP

 

Nutrition:

4 dixie cups of coke

Water

S! Caps (1 every hour plus the ones mixed in my water…)

Gu Energy Gel & Clif Double Shot Espresso (1 gel every 30 minutes)

Onto The Next One

December is an exciting time. The holidays are around us, surrounded by friends, family & cheer. Excitement is in the air for the coming of a new year. However, there is also sadness at the passing of the old one- perhaps unfulfilled resolutions, regrets, devastation...

On The Long Trail (of Life?) with mary

Post WTC 50k Cool Kids Crew

I feel so fortunate and grateful to be able to say that this year has been amazing; one of my best, really. Looking back, I have taken myself to new places, distances, mental reserves with great success and a smile. I set a personal best in the 50k by over an hour; traveled to the French Alps to run one of the hardest 100k races in the world, while experiencing living in a foreign country; I set a PR in the mile after a 10 mile workout in the am; I hiked about 100 miles of The Long Trail with one of my best friends & mentors; I ran my first 50 miler as a training race, and have trained harder than I ever have before. I still hold a sense of disbelief that I could do all of these things, but it just further supports my desire to set lofty goals and KNOW that I can achieve them. It also fuels my 20-year old ego that anything is possible... ;)

The Queen & I on Coastal

I cannot take all the credit, though. All of these dreams have been realized largely by the unending support I have received. My family cares so much about my athletic career and have been so selfless in helping me in any way they can. They genuinely desire to know how I am doing on a daily basis, what my sights are set on, and how they can fit in the picture. My mom, grandma and aunt flew to Europe to crew for me and be present to share in the experience of a lifetime. Most family members have been to almost all of my races, and I am so grateful for that. My coach, Meghan, and I started working together in March, and I am SO fortunate for her expert guidance, advice, and friendship. She pushes me hard in just the right way and I trust her 110%. Her workouts and training get me so excited to run each day and I always want to do my best. However, on the days when running sucks and I feel discouraged, she can pick me up and stop my whining. ;)

Quality Friends & Quality Badasses.

Finally, the running community I adore so much has taken me to great heights. With the love and encouragement from old friends, new friends, and everybody in between. I am always taken aback by the level of commitment and care exemplified by all the people involved in this wonderful sport. Volunteers at aid stations make them seem like parties & make all the difference in the world as we all chase PRs. Supporters and an ever-increasing fan base of this sport such as IRunFar make running-nerds like myself on top of the whos-who and what's being done happenings around the world. It's really quite amazing this culture we have, and I am so grateful to be a part of it.

This picture can't have words-Not even 1000

With all that said, we can put 2014 in the past and start looking ahead to 2015. It's been said often that it's not about the destination, but the journey. However, 2015 is looking to have several awesome destinations.  First, Bandera 100k is just around the corner; starting the year off with a bang. I am hoping to earn a ticket to Western States 100 mile through the Montrail Ultra Cup. This race is a big deciding factor in how the rest of the year will pan out. If not, I am still setting my sights on 100 miles. Perhaps Cascade Crest or Pine to Palm? Meghan and I will pick races accordingly to fill the gaps until then. There's still so much up in the air, but I am still excited and eager to see what the future holds & where my running will take me next (literally & figuratively!)

Mont Blanc in all her glory

One of the ways I define myself is that I am always making goals and trying to achieve them. Though this time of year reminds us to venture out and try new things or improve upon the old, I will always be creating new dreams regardless of the day-month-year. With that being said, I also just want to keep on doing what I love: dancing on trails, laughing with friends, exploring, and pushing myself farther & faster, through new life experiences. I am so excited to see what 2015 brings. I feel as if I have really defined myself and found my identity and I cannot wait to show who I am to the world. Plus, I turn 21 in June so I will soon be able to enjoy post race beers legally. ;)

Lastly, I'm so happy that The North Face, Julbo eyewear, & Petzl have taken a chance on me. I'm so excited to be a part of their families and represent trail running through them. They have given me the confidence and enthusiasm to pursue my absolute best & beyond.

And with that, we're Onto The Next One.

Sup.

My "First" Fifty. TNFECS Race Report

This weekend was everything I had hoped for and more. If you read my last blog post, you'd know that going into this, I was doubtful and hesitant. I had zero expectations of what would happen, and if anything, that I would blow up and fail. I was nervous and scared for the most part. CCC 100k was easier in that it was NOT that runnable due to the steepness and elevation gain, and so that made walking more efficient and totally okay.

This is usually everybody's A race. With a prize purse like that, who wouldn't put all their eggs into one basket? The competition was thick and I had no idea where I would play into all of this.

Meghan told me to go into it casually, this was not the focus, to take it easy until mile 45, then push hard.

Ma Clique. PC Brett Rivers

Friday before the race I had so much fun. I got to run with Bryon Powell, Eric Schranz, Mario Fraioli (IRunFar, UltraRunnerPodcast, Competitor Mag) as well as most of the TNF team- it was a fast taper run! whoops! After we got to collaborate in a research and development meeting about footwear and apparel. I had never been to one of these so it was super interesting! I also got to see all my SFRC friends and Mary, whom I had missed very much! My friend from NYC/VT Rachel Long flew out to do her first 50, too, so that was awesome catching up with her. All of a sudden the day had gone by and it was time for bed!

3 am. Ugh. Such an early start! I ate my oats, egg, blueberries, and coffee and my Dad and I headed to the headlands. Of course, being the rookie that I am, I forgot body glide (real smart for a wet and muddy course) and frantically had to borrow from super accomplished TNF ultra runner, Kami Semick (embarrassing!). The gun went off and we all filed out in a frenzied dash. I tried to keep it under control, but so fast! I was in the elite wave (!!), so everybody was on edge. The first two loops went by quickly and quietly. It was effortless. I got to share the sunrise with Michael Stricklan and the climb up Miwok to Tennessee Valley. That was mile 14, where I would see my crew- my mom and sister, Nicki. Wow. They were on it. Each time I saw them, Nicki would take the trash from my front pocket, my mom would put gels in my back pocket, and I would switch my water bottle for a full one. I don't think I spent more than 60 seconds at any aid station. At this point and at Cardiac later, I saw Bryon Powell taking pictures and I thought, oh no, if I'm seeing him I MUST be going way too fast! But It was such a comfortable pace! I kept thinking about an inevitable blow up...

Fast Start! PC TNFECS.

Running down the coastal trail and along the cliffs by Pirates Cove was magical. The fog and sun loved the landscape in a way I had never seen before- it was incredible. I made a friend and we talked for a bit. The he took off or I passed him, I can't quite remember. Before I knew it, I was at mile 18 at Muir Beach. Ellie Greenwood was there, unexpectedly, cheering runners on. I hit the station just under 3 hours. Which shocked me! Down the road, I saw my mom and sister cheering for me. I did not know they would be there, but it was such a welcome surprise!

Clowning around in the dark with Stricklan! (PC)

Next up was a giant climb up starting steep and then gradually tapering off to Cardiac. I thought for sure this was where the inevitable end would be. Last time I ran up this, it was an epic fail of all proportions. I was running up with a man from London, and we enjoyed some words, especially his accent! Then, I just kept running up and up and up- feeling perfectly fabulous. I caught up to Stricklan and passed him, getting some words of wisdom. At the Cardiac aid station, I grabbed some coke and refilled my bottle. The volunteers commented on how pretty my sparkly nail polish was! haha Running through Pantoll station, I again saw my mom & sis- another welcome surprise! Then onto my favorite trail in the Mt Tam area- Matt Davis.

Depiction of a "funsies" 50 mile race looks like.

Cruising through the redwoods and rushing streams was so delightful. I purposely splashed through it all! The out and back to McKennan Gulch was, in my opinion, especially tough and where I felt the worst all day. Not because it was necessarily difficult terrain or steep, but because the singletrack was so narrow and runners were whizzing past you in the opposite direction so fast. There was very little room for error. And constantly having to step up off the trail felt weird and kept me out of rhythm. However, I got to see so many familiar and smiling faces that I passed going out and back. I think this was the best part of the race, too. The community was really alive and flourishing. 99% of all people shouted out encouragements; "good job! way to go! nice work! hey kelsie! looking good! etc." It made me smile, laugh, and put a pep in my step.  Heading down into Stinson on the technical, wet trail was a little dodgy. I made a friend and we kept each other company with great conversation- he was a nurse so we had lots to talk about, which took my mind off of the task at hand.

"I'm listening to Demi!" love my crew!

Getting into the Stinson aid station, I again saw my family. I felt like I was a NFL player entering the superbowl the way that spectators were cheering and lining the road like a tunnel. Here I took two advil, which I could have done without, but I thought might be nice to take the edge off the stiffness. My new friend and I started the climb out of Stinson and up Steep Ravine. I kept thinking, okay, now this is where you'll blow up. After all, Stinson beach was mile 33.5 and I had hit my second best 50k time. But I just kept running up and soaking in the energy from the redwoods and greenery. A hiker was going down the trail and asked which way Stinson beach was. I flexed and laughingly responded in an Arnold Schwarzenneger-like voice, "The beach is that way". haha I couldn't resist and it was the PERFECT moment for that kind of stunt!

This is what 90% of the day looked like

Up at Cardiac, I prepared mentally for a long, hurting downhill back down the way we came up. By now, all the 50k-ers and marathoners were out on the course and so the trail was not only heavily trafficked, but destroyed. It was super slick, muddy, and dodgy in every way possible. On one of the sharp turns down Heather Cutoff I slipped on some mud and totally ate shit. literally. I was now covered in mud, my water bottle nozzle was brown and I was chewing on some grainy gross stuff for the remainder of the race. But I just laughed it off, thinking how silly I must look. I eventually caught up to friend Mario Diego and a female 50 miler. This gave me a little incentive to push a bit so I could stay in front of her. Finally seeing another woman after AGES sparked the competitive nature in me. However, I had a HUGE climb out of Muir Beach, so I was a bit uneasy. Up until that climb I felt like I literally had fresh legs and had just started running; the 40+ previous miles had no effect. This climb was the only spot in the race I really walked. Sure, I took a few steps here and there up steep parts, but never really, "walked". This was a grinder. I set my sights on a guy in a red singlet and tried my best to keep up fast hiking. I was getting a bit tired by the top and thankful for the downhill to Tennessee Valley, mile 45, where I'd see my family. This aid station was BUSTLING. Tons of people and so much commotion. I didn't really pay attention to anything that was going on, except for my mom and sister. I grabbed two Gus from them and my new refilled water bottle and immediately started heading up Marincello; the last climb.

All Business heading into Tennesse Valley

My eyes set on hunting down Luanne & Jon

At the start of the climb, I saw Jon Bretan, who was coming out of a rough patch. He looked at me and went, "kelsie?! okay, if you're running up this, I have to, too." And then he took off. Thank god, because I was prepared to walk this one. But I slowly tried to keep him in sights and make my way up the hill. Meghan had said to go hard the last 5 miles and so I was really pushing at this point. My ipod died, I was tired, mentally hurting and now physically feeling all of those miles before. I wouldn't call it a low point, but it definitely wasn't comfortable from here on out. As we neared the Alta aid station, I shared a couple meters with a man in an orange shirt. He told me he had two daughters and that I was super inspiring for him and that he cannot wait to tell them I was up there running with him for 50 miles. He was the one who really turned it on for me. He told me, "okay, you will definitely break 9 hours, now you have to go for it!" I'm so grateful for that extra push and boost in confidence. I took off down the hill, giving everything I had. I caught Luanne Park, fellow Tamalpan, and also Jon Bretan. We raced it in together. I felt like I was sprinting. The cheers from the finish line were audible and I was gritting my teeth. That last little uphill on the road really, really sucked. I felt like I might have kicked too early and that I'd pass out right before the finish. But I heard my name and kept going. God, that finish line felt so good. I was so happy to cross it and be done!

The Best feeling.

I finished 112th overall, 18th female, and 1st in my 20-24 age group in 8:57.03. I really was astounded at the whole day. I had so much fun, smiling, laughing, dancing and singing along the course. I got to splash through mud and make friends, while seeing so many others. The aid station volunteers and spectators were so efficient, helpful, and set the bar extremely high for all other races. I am still in shock that I felt so good for so long and so comfortable at that distance.

The damage.

Jon Bretan & I

Post race, I got to hang out with some awesome friends, share in our accomplishments, trade stories, and recover well. I even got to swim in the Pacific Ocean for "ice bath" recovery! Now, I feel perfectly fine. My body isn't sore and I have no fatigue. So, I am super excited for Bandera 100km the first weekend of January! Western States ticket, I'm coming for you!

Rob Krar & I

Blue Skirt Posse- this chica is awesome!

This race and weekend wouldn't be possible with all the friends & family that support me so much. I am so grateful to my family as they are my #1 fans and the best support crew! My coach, Meghan Arbogast, has the best advice, and knows how to push me hard in training in just the right way. We work so well together and she is ever so patient with some of my whining and self-doubts! My trail running family up in the bay offers encouragement and advice that I would be lost without. A big thank you to The North Face for giving me the confidence and believing in my goals as an athlete.

Gear used:
TNF better than naked singlet & skirt
TNF arm warmers & Ultra Cardiac shoes
Petzl Tikka RXP headlamp
Nathan 18oz handheld bottle (2)
S! caps every hour
14 Gu gels (every 40 min, then every 30min 2nd Cardiac on)
coke 3x at various aid stations
Stance compression 1/4 calf socks.
Taylor Swift & Drake & Others on the iPod shuffle