Question Madness

The North Face is celebrating the 50th anniversary. Though, I have not even been around for half of that time, it is inspiring to see the expeditions and progress that has been made as the brand reminisces on it's journey. It is also fascinating to see the new adventures and limits pushed by the athletes as they jump into the unknown future. Here are my thoughts with a storytelling exercise they have been promoting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayv41ZmNWtk

Why live a life that’s perceived as mad? As Jack Kerouac so aptly put it, “The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’”.

Most of the world spends their time maintaining boundaries of safe, conventional, inconspicuous lifestyles that conform to set norms. With stringent social policies governing our actions, starting early in our formative years, individuality and risks are squashed; the teenager that enjoys solitude outdoors rather than on the football team is isolated. Our parents, through love and care, seek to protect us constantly in the face of danger, as we are often scooped up into their arms right before jumping off the monkey bars. Even evolution’s Natural Selection strikes fear into our chest as we peer over the cliff’s edge and hesitantly plant our feet farther back. However, with every aspect of our lives working against this infectious madness, we still break free of the boundaries towards the farther, higher, harder, and unknown.

 I live my life through passion. My affinity for the outdoors and pursuing new sights to behold is fueled by a captive wonder of nature’s intricacies. My academic zeal sets the tone for my curiosity of what the human body can accomplish physiologically. My manic desire for dreaming big is constantly churning creative adventures in the recesses of my mind, one that can push my mental attitude deeper than most would be willing. I consciously choose pain, discomfort, “to suck the marrow out of life” (Thoreau) than the sheltered vanilla. I may appear to be conforming to the mundane: commuting, working, studying, and exercising; but my goals far exceed reality: I want the prestigious accolades of medical school and to run longer, farther & faster. I have always been set apart from my peers at university or in the workplace to pursue my athletics & academics. I am repeatedly foregoing social interactions and expectations, but I wouldn’t have it any other way as it can be a raging party of one. Sometimes I would wake as early as 3:45 am in order to train in the mountains before heading to work, after which I would spent the evening hours poring over textbooks, only to repeat again and again. This kind of lifestyle did not allow for attendance of prom afterparties or frat beer pong Olympics. Often, I am completing these tasks solo, save for the company of a few quality friends.

 I am mostly asked “why”, as the people around me do not understand what drives a person to live like this. I usually cannot answer why exactly, but feel it as I stand next to an impossibly tall tree while sweat drips down my cheek onto the smooth dirt of my favorite trail crunching below. As I gaze out at a vast expanse of beauty unfolding before me, I rejoice in the unknown and untouched land, save for the vibrant wildlife inhabitants. That fleeting moment where the golden sunlight illuminates my tango with the dancing shadows echoes throughout my dreams. The wind blowing through my hair, the flower crushed in my pocket, and the tight strain in my filthy legs rejuvenates me. Being brought to my knees after emptying the whole of my being running farther and faster than I ever have imagined brings a whimsical smile to my face. Tender moments that we, as explorers, are privy to stumble across are why & what we spend a lifetime chasing. Sometimes, though, I am tired, and would rather stay home than walk out the front door. But the will to be much greater than I am keeps me both intrinsically motivated and intrinsically satisfied. I always tell myself: This is my passion. This is what I strive for. This is madness.

TNF Chile. My First 100 Miler. My First DNF.

"The first cut is the deepest, baby, I know..."-- Sheryl Crow.

Friday, October 16, 11:13 pm. No, no, we couldn't possibly be going up there. We should have turned downhill by now. Oh cool, look at this blue rock...

25 minutes later... I stood knee deep in snow and the cool, wind whistled around me, blowing my braids in my mouth. Spitting out a wad of hair, I looked up. The white cinta, or markers, had been swallowed by the mountain, along with my willpower. I only knew that I had to continue trudging up by the fluorescent orange jacket and click-clack of poles making their way up, up up into the thinning air.

What seemed like eons away, in some other life, was the bustling of anxious nerves, strong and leathered legs, and flashing headlamps gathered around a rope. Looking out at the twinkling lights of Santiago, I made a concerted effort to focus on my breathing. I stood picking at my sparkling nailpolish, simultaneously fully expectant and completely oblivious to what lay ahead. Soon, the small, intimate group of men and women around me started counting down in Spanish. People with flashing cameras crowded in around us. I wondered if they were going to move, we would stampede them, or we simply would not start. Zeroooooo! The tape went up, the cameras moved aside, and we took off. Very quickly, I found myself bent over with my hands on my quads moving upwards into the unknown. This was the position I would be in most of the day...


September 6, 8:20pm. To Meghan Arbogast: "I have confidence that I can finish 100 miles in October. It'll be tough and I won't run as much as I should if I was 100%. But I had May and June and most of July. And those were great months. And I'm getting to be a good hiker. I thought about it all day. I can do what I can until I can't. Then I can hike"

From the get go, I was hiking. Through the darkness, I tried avoiding sharp, low-hanging branches, and cautiously used my hands to scramble over rocks. I tried making small talk with the men grunting around me, but nobody was listening. Perhaps they were listening to Taylor Swift. I made a mental note to ask Stephanie if she had my headphones, as I had seemingly forgotten them. Drat. Oh well, maybe this would be good for personal development, or I can study for physiology...

The ridgeline kept moving upwards, I wondered when it would end. Mira! A man shouted behind me. I stopped, turned around, and stood gazing at the most incredible sunrise I had seen. The lights of Santiago, were still twinkling through the hazy fog. Green waves of ridges rose from the depths of the fog until they disappeared into the snow-capped peaks of the Andes. The sky, bluer by the minute, cast orange & pink-mixed rays of light onto the mountains. They looked warm, inviting, and sparked a love in my heart. I smiled, then continued upwards, still stealing glances of wonderous joy at those far, far away mountains.

Fresh as Daisies!

The trail, after 5 miles, finally topped out onto a grassy field. The sky was still getting brighter when I switched off my headlamp. I followed the leader down through cow fields. Weaving through trees, we mashed our feet into thick, globby mud. Mis pies estan pesados! I laughed, but nobody else joined me. Sigh.

I could hear the shouting before I could see them. Happily, I ran into the first AS where my energetic crew awaited me. Mario & Rocko from TNF South America, my mother & Stephanie Howe greeted me. Stephanie forced a Snickers bar into my hand, as she helped me load up on gels. It would be a while until I saw them again... Mario filled up my water bottles and told me the three women leaders were 13 minutes ahead. I didn't really care since we were 12k into a 160k race; I'll do my own thing and just focus on finishing.

Locked & loaded, I left. I started with gels every 20 minutes, just as Steph had instructed me to do, but they were not settling well. it took considerable effort to get one down. Hopefully the Snickers would be better...

The next mile or so, we ran through beautiful, green fields (again, not on an actual trail). Some sections, we were surrounded by tall, yellow mustard flowers and trees. My heart was so happy to see so much green, flowers, and trees! It took the edge off the discomfort of forcing down a Snickers bar... Soon, my stomach started really hurting. I took this as a sign that I should back off the pace and maybe walk for a bit. A woman came up behind me and asked me how I was doing and what was wrong. I said my stomach hurt and she offered me food, but I politely declined as I had a pack full of goop. She encouraged me to run with her and told me about herself. The language barrier was a bit steep, but I got to practice my Spanish. I told her she was the first person to talk to me all day, and she laughed. We got to a muddy hill surrounded by long-horned cows. I pointed and asked how to say what they were in Spanish. Vaca, she replied, and again, laughed at me. She and another Argentinian scooted up the hill past me, and I was left to myself.

Soon after PC1

Here is where things started to fall apart. Rolling, punchy climbs and steep, slippery descents, caused me to freak out. I was tired already and only 12 miles in. I started crying when it was time to eat another gel. F this. Where the hell am I. This is hard. How can I possibly do this?

Crying & stumbling, I made my way along the trail. Stupidly, I had forgotten to ask Stephanie for my headphones, so I was left with my thoughts- my own worst enemy. I sobbed as I sucked down a Gu and meandered down a trail-less, angry cow-filled grass hill. I sloshed through a stream of cold, ice melt and dragged myself up the hill. I saw a photographer in the distance and knew I would approach the second AS soon. I wiped my tears and put on a good face running in. The RD, Nick, and several new friends from the SA team were there and helped me refill my bottles with coke. (Yes, straight coke). They asked me how I was doing and I replied that I felt awful. Nick gave me some words of wisdom and told me to keep fighting. They cheered as I left and I felt renewed.

At AS2. The coca cola begins. PC Matias Bull

Bubbling with energy, I started running up the gradual slope. As the slope got steeper, the AS fading into memory, and the mud more slick, my energy gradually drained. I resumed a quiet cry and my hands-on-knees mountain-climbing pose. A man passed me and asked what was wrong. Again, I pointed to my stomach and he asked if he could help. No, I'm fine. And he disappeared above. Already, it was time to eat again and I groaned inwardly. I reached into my pack and found a Peanut Butter packet. At 200 kcal/packet, I only had to sip half of it per time chunk. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad and I could get it down without gagging. The combination of fizzy coke and hearty peanut butter must have done the trick because I made that next hour my b*tch.

I power hiked the shit out of that hill. I passed the man and he was shocked. Estas mejor?! Siiiiii was my reply as I began running the now-flatter part. I thought we were at the top. We had been climbing for four miles, so it must have been time...

The crew & Vero Bravo

But the white cinta kept leading me forward and up. A giant peak with snow towered in front of me. There was no way they would make us go up and over that thing. When I was close enough to make out brightly colored jackets against the snow, I gulped. The slope turned drastically steep and I assumed the "mountain-climbing position". There was no time for tears as it was very cold, and I was intensely focused on finding blue rocks under the snow. I found a couple and put them into my pack (Don't ask...). Soon, the snow got deep enough where I was hopping into other, previous runners' footprints as it was mid calf-knee deep. Soon, the summit came and I found two brave souls at the 3rd AS ready to help. I refilled with coke and took off downhill (finally).

Sucking the energy from flowers

The first two miles of the fire road downhill, was more like skate skiing through the snow. This was maybe the most fun I had all day, despite the fact that my hands were really cold and I had stupidly given my gloves to Stephanie at the first AS because it was not (required gear). Then the snow disappeared and we weaved our way down. I fell into pace with Pablo from Peru. His English was fantastic and we shared the entire downhill, talking and laughing. This was incredible. At Mile 12 I wanted to quit, but he kept me going and distracting me from those negative thoughts. His stories were awesome and I will definitely cherish those miles for a long time. The 20k downhill was actually more like 13.5m, but who's counting... I grabbed a golden poppy I saw on the side of the trail and put it in my braid. It made me think of all my friends in CA and how they would want me to keep going with a smile.


At about 52km into the race, I arrived at the 4th AS to see my amazing crew. I gave my rocks to Stephanie in exchange for those awful gels and refilled my bottles with more coke. They shooed me out and up before I had time to drop, which had been my plan. They said they'd be at the next AS, "just 10km away", and by the time I remembered how much I wanted to drop, I was too far up the hill and they had taken off.

Yup...

I began crying heading up the steep, technical, loose-dirt, cactus-filled, hateful hill. At some parts, it was so awful that I had to stop so I could cry a bit harder. Pablo soon passed me and told me to keep going and see him again. My mantra for this section was it was just 10km...

More false summits, some snow, and steep, narrow ridgelines later, I was at 11km and the AS was nowhere in sight. Pablo was ahead and I was sobbing uncontrollably as I stumbled down the hill. Tears clouded my eyes and I could not focus on where the steep, loose trail was going. Snowy Andes mountains and the ridges I was traversing, cut through the fog sharply all around me. I tried to fill my heart with the joy from those mountains I had felt so, so much earlier. It didn't work.

I thought about what I had told Meghan. I was so excited about my first 100 miler, this opportunity to see Chile, and to gain points for UTMB- an ultimate dream I have held intensely for the last five years. I believed so much in myself, it was incredible. I was confident and excited. At that point, high above Santiago, I was so supremely sucked of everything within me. I had been feeling so empty for so long, too. I had no will, no hope, no joy, no drive, no energy... nothing but tears and extreme disappointment. I knew it was over. I knew it was too much for me. Everything in my body ached and I was broken.

Pablo from Peru & some of the others before PC5 (Not my Pic)

Finally, I made it to the Aid Station. But my crew was not there. When I didn't see Stephanie's silver puffy jacket, a weight inside me dropped. I didn't think I could feel more low, but then I didn't underestimate how wrong I could be. I immediately sat down on the aid station and cried harder. With my face on the ground, I created mud with my tears. Pablo was there and sat to rub my back, comforting me. He told me it's just 10 more kilometers and the hill was just like the first we had come down together. Seeing as there was no way down other than to run, I slowly got up and ate a banana and filled my bottles, again, with coke (we're at 5L now consumed). I had run out of food about an hour and half previous to that AS. I made my way down the hill, which took a lot longer than promised and I half cried every time I wondered when I would see my mom and Stephanie.

The downhill ensued and I came to a highway. Police escorts led me across it and directed me to go up. I made my way from the highway through a couple neighborhoods. Without the course guides and white tape, I would have been completely lost. Soon, I was directed towards a small bridge and back to where the trail seems to have resumed. I craned my neck upwards to stare up at the rock before me. White tape waved in the wind, high, high up and I had my right hand holding the chain that had been bolted into the rock so I could make my way up. I let go of the chain, sat down next to the rock, and cried. Hard. A man soon came up behind me and urged me on. In Spanish, that I could barely understand, he told me just 1 km more after the short hill. He continued on ahead and I hauled my ass up that rock. With so many false corners, a continuous uphill, and more than 1 kilometer, I cried as I slowly walked. Out of nowhere, Rocko came bounding up the trail. He scooped me up into a giant embrace and I hugged him as if my life depended on it. After I had wiped snot and tears all across his shirt, he encouraged me to walk with him.

I love this girl more than chocolate.

We talked for a bit and he told me about his climbing. He was so encouraging and it lifted my spirits as much as it could. I told him we needed to run (as it wasn't that far away now) because I didn't want to get caught in the dark. The sun was beginning to set and cast a pink glow on the mountains behind me. I arrived into the AS and immediately fell into Stephanie's arms and told her, at halfway, I couldn't go on. I was absolutely petrified at the prospect of going farther, let alone into the night. I knew how long it would take, how much my body already hurt, and the idea of having zero distractions in the dark. Plus, the obstacles presented by the trail would be just that much more magnified at night. I sat down and cried. Since I hadn't eaten in around 2.5-3 hours, I downed as many pringles as I could. Shivering and crying, I knew it was done. My journey ended there. My mom encouraged me to get into Rocko's truck, where it was warmer out of the wind. That was the nail in the coffin for my DNF. At this point, I had stopped crying. There was nothing left.


Driving back to our hotel, I gazed out the window at the fiery, burning orange sunset sparking the tops of the snowy peaks. Soon, the peaks faded and skyscrapers replaced them. Several things led me to this failure: a giant buildup of caloric deficit and inability to consume anything, not being ready physically with little training after a comeback from injury. These multiplied and grew out of proportion as I emotionally and mentally lost it. With all of this, for my first hundred, given the course, it was way too hard. There was simply no way. I was not physically injured, but simply broken.


After, Stephanie and I got to tour Santiago through wine, Pisco, food, subway, chocolate, and a quest for wifi to study. We had a blast. She taught me what the Grateful Game is, and that's definitely helped put my bitter, disappointment over not finishing, into perspective. So I'm going to play:

-I'm grateful for amazing sponsors that would invite me to explore such a unique area and experience a completely different side of the world. The crew at TNF South America have been so hospitable and helped immensely to get me as far as I did.
-I have amazing people in my life encouraging me always- friends, family, professors... I am especially grateful for Meghan. She coaches me and helps me strive, to the best of my ability, for those far-out dreams I conjure late at night. She is more of a friend than a coach, at times, but always positively pushing me forward. Stephanie Howe has been an infinite source of last minute advice, tips, and companionship. I am so lucky to have had her with me and as a friend. My family is always infallible, bottom line.
-The people I met were so, so lovely. They went out of their way to help me, despite running 100 miles themselves. The camaraderie and love I experienced was unlike anything else; I will hold onto those precious moments.
-I got to the starting line healthy and I finished half of the course without serious injury. I am grateful for a working, healthy, strong body.

HERE is the Pre Race Preview provided by Matias Bull of TrailChile.
HERE is the course review by TrailChile
HERE is the post run write up by Kit Fox & Red Bull.
HERE is my Strava data (I had missed a couple miles due to stopping my watch & time includes sitting at the end)
HERE is the race website- I HIGHLY recommend this race. It is beautiful, well put on, and awesomely hard for those wanting a challenge.

Congrats to all those who had finished the race! Bravo!

Race Report: Bandera 100k

Shaking it out with Fernando!

Texas, where everything bites, stings and burns. How true is that statement! To start out, I’d like to say I went into this race with a fat ego, thinking it would be pancake flat, fast and I’d get my MUC spot to Western States. I’d had a great TNF50 race while feeling oh so casual. Very early into this race would my ego meet it’s match…

 Following TNF50, December was all about maintaining fitness and recovering. Sliding around in the mud in the Marin Headlands for 50 miles had caused the posterior tendon on my ankle to give me some issues as well as that calf felt pretty tight, thus resulting in mild footpain whenever I hit technical trails. This gave me some cause of concern because all I had heard about Bandera was that it was very rocky and technical. I trusted in my abilities to maneuver such terrain, but spent most of December running on roads, fire roads or smooth singletrack. I had also been doing several runs at midday to prepare for the Texas heat…

Prerace: clean, a little warm, & confident

 Fast forward to days before the race, while in SLO I casually pulled up the weather forecast for Bandera on Saturday. The high was predicted to be 32 degrees with a chance of snow. What?! Race history has typically been in the 60s-70s with humidity. All of a sudden I had no idea what I would wear, what I would do for nutrition and what would happen. I kinda panicked a bit…

"Multicolored nails are the secrets to success"- Rory Bosio

 

Thursday Jan 8^th, I flew to San Antonio and met up with Fernando, a great friend from SF. We drove to Bandera and stayed the night just outside of town. I wore a single long sleeve, two different types of gloves and shorts on our Friday shakeout to test how cold it really was. My mom flew into Texas that night as she would crew for me all Saturday. Pretty soon it was race morning and I was sitting nervously sipping coffee. HERE is the women’s race preview.

I had to put my age group bib on my butt....

The gun went off and we went racing up the trail. The sun had just risen and it was still very, very cold. We immediately began climbing up the first hill. It was short, but the rocks were like stairs and the previous day’s rainfall had given them a nice fresh coat of ice. I settled with a couple women: Aliza and I think Nicole, but then they moved up and I joined another couple women: Leslie, Ashley & Traci. We were talking casually and getting to know each other. One of the funnier moments of the day was, I think it was Leslie and Ashley, were talking about how many/how old their kids were. They then asked me if I had any kids, to which I frantically responded “No! I’m twenty!!” Then they asked me if I was married! Haha! Not even close!

Where do I put these gels? (PC Victor B.)

This was the start- as none of us were covered in blood...

The first 15 miles or so were uneventful. Traci and I were rolling along and chatting some. The sotol was alive and well on the trail, which quickly bloodied up our legs pretty good. (She had pants so she didn’t really feel it). In these first 17 or so miles I was running relatively well, but it wasn’t with the ease I felt at TNF50. The trail was rocky, covered in ice, slick mud, or clay-like mud that sticks to your shoes, making them feel like bricks. Traci pulled away from me and I soon got into a rhythm with another guy, who happened to be from the Bay Area. We chatted some, but around mile 26, I started to feel really really crappy. My legs were hurting on the brutally steep, rocky downhills and the climbs were very steep as well. I was losing it mentally and I was cold. I really wanted to drop at the 50k. I had been thinking about it all those miles leading up to it. But I was also thinking about all the people back home cheering me on and supporting me. Also, I though about calling my coach Meghan post-drop and trying to explain to her why I had to DNF. None of my reasons were good enough and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down and I didn’t have any physical ailment hindering me other than it just sucked and I was tired. (My foot pain- didn’t feel it once!) Once I got to 50k, my mom and Victor Ballesteros were there. I grabbed two advil, more Gu, a Clif Double Shot Espresso and was turned around so quickly I didn’t have a chance to drop. So I figured I might as well finish it…

Heading up the first hill, I was greeted with more & more Sotol. I learned I was in 7^th place and Leslie and Traci were hot on my tail. I had passed Traci heading up to the climbs towards the 50k mark and Leslie ran into the start/finish as I was headed out for the second loop. I saw a woman in all Buff gear climbing up. This further gave me motivation and I used a burst of speed to pass her. On the downhill, I smoked her; she was daintily avoiding the rocks whereas I just hurdled them. Soon, I couldn’t see her behind me and relaxed a bit. The game plan was to take the first 50k conservatively, use the second loop to move and give it my all on the last 10 miles especially. Pretty soon, I was running by myself with nobody to be seen and along rolling, gray, boring terrain. That part was tough. I had my ipod to keep me company.

Coming into Last chance at mi 26.

I came into the aid station at mile 42 and asked what place I was and how far ahead the others were. They didn’t know how far ahead they were, but I was now in 5^th place as Melanie had just dropped. I knew 5^th and 4^th were together at the 50k, so I figured she couldn’t be much farther ahead. I tried running faster and making up lost time, but I was so depleted and the mud and ice didn’t allow for very fast running. I had a glimmer of hope that I may be able to get the MUC spot. I kept repeating my mantras: Meghan had told me to “Be F**king Tough” and I kept telling myself “C’mon, you want this more than anything, where’s your hunger & fire?” The sotol stopped burning and I just didn’t give a sh*t anymore that I was going through a forest of razor blades.

I got to the first Cross Roads aid station a little out of sorts and was a bit rough with my mom and short of patience. I took off on the next, rockier part of that little loop and noticed my water tasted really funny. I couldn’t quite understand why: was I hungry? Was it just bad tap water? Will I get sick from it? I kept sipping it regardless to stay hydrated. Later, I found out when I asked my mom to put salt caps in my bottle (I meant the holder pocket), she had put a handful of them in the actual bottle with the water; I was basically drinking clean ocean water. Ha!

The snow-rain had washed most of it off...

I soon, finished that loop and before I knew it I was back at cross roads. I grabbed my headlamp and headed out for the last ten miles. Game time. I “sped” up (it’s all relative at this point) and kept trying to push myself up and over the climbs. It was really hard at that point. My quads were toast, but I had no idea how far ahead the other women were. My next goal, when I realized I wouldn’t get the MUC spot (I tried not to let this derail me) was to break 11 hours, I was borderline on pace for it, but it was definitely going to be a push. When I hit Last Chance with 5 miles to go and the two worst climbs of the course, I was gunning it. I took another Double Shot espresso and ran as hard as I could. I couldn’t even stop to pee really quickly because I was so focused on finishing. I was so so close! The minutes ticked by even closer to 11 hours and I was still a bit farther out. It was pure anguish at that point. Three of my favorite songs came on, by chance, to take me in: Santana’s “Smooth”, Madonna’s “4 minutes” (fitting for the time frame), and Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”. The final descent came and I was sprinting (again, relatively) at that point. I didn’t care if I was stubbing my toes on the rocks; I just had to get over them as fast as I could possibly muster. I wasn’t even on the homestretch before tears came unknowingly. I ran across the line right into my mom’s arms. (No fetal position with Victor to console me this time!) The race director, Joe Prusaitis, asked how old I was and then remarked to the crowd how he needs to start carding at his races (a 19 yr old ran to 3^rd place). I was given my awards and we drove to the best and only taqueria in Bandera (my mom, Fernando and I).

Looking a little Traumatized

I had finished 13^th overall, 5^th woman (4^th USATF woman), with a time of 11:01.50. (Oh so close). It’s bitingly disappointing to not achieve my goals and not get a spot to Western States 100 (Especially when it was 34 minutes away), but given the conditions and tough as nails competition, I am happy with this accomplishment. I guess I ran a 100k & 50 mi PR, my 2^nd fastest 50k & 4^th fastest 50k… (5:20 & 5:41). I’m pretty humbled and glad to have overcome mental canyons. This blog post was pretty hard to write; I am still feeling upset and down. Most people are asking what is next, and I have no idea. Maybe pursue a spot to WS somewhere else? It’s a tough call. Five weeks between a 50miler and this was hard to do, I don’t know if I can do it again. I am definitely aiming to do a 100 this summer, it’s just difficult to know at the moment. So, I guess stay tuned…

His name is "Waffles"

As always, I am oh so grateful to my supportive family, friends, and community. My mom came to crew me and did a fabulous job of putting up with me and keeping me decently happy for 11 hours, then taking on the mom role of taking care of me post race. All my friends supporting and encouraging me back home was really motivating and I definitely wouldn’t have the strength to finish without thoughts of all of you. Fernando is truly an amazing travel companion and I’d be so lost without him pretty much organizing the trip. World’s best coach award goes to Meghan Arbogast; her advice, knowledge, and friendship means the world to me and I’m so happy to have The Queen as a role model to learn from. Huge shoutout to The North Face for creating amazing gear that kept me warm and content all day long. I’d also like to say I’m super excited to be a part of Julbo’s family for 2015, repping the sickest shades on the market. (They matched perfectly with my outfit) As well as on Petzl’s regional team; I’d be crawling blindly through the hills without the RXP headlamp.

For all those curious, data-analyzing folks out there, HERE is my strava data. Also, HERE is the post race interview with Victor Ballesteros & UltraSportsLive.tv (Note: I am not all “there”, as I literally had JUST finished…)

Gear Used:

Garmin 910xt

Julbo sunglasses- Access

SFRC buff

TNF Ultra Cardiac shoes

TNF rain jacket, light windbreaker, arm sleeves, T shirt, skirt, gloves, Stow N Go Bra

Stance mid-calf compression socks

Petzl Tikka RXP

 

Nutrition:

4 dixie cups of coke

Water

S! Caps (1 every hour plus the ones mixed in my water…)

Gu Energy Gel & Clif Double Shot Espresso (1 gel every 30 minutes)

My "First" Fifty. TNFECS Race Report

This weekend was everything I had hoped for and more. If you read my last blog post, you'd know that going into this, I was doubtful and hesitant. I had zero expectations of what would happen, and if anything, that I would blow up and fail. I was nervous and scared for the most part. CCC 100k was easier in that it was NOT that runnable due to the steepness and elevation gain, and so that made walking more efficient and totally okay.

This is usually everybody's A race. With a prize purse like that, who wouldn't put all their eggs into one basket? The competition was thick and I had no idea where I would play into all of this.

Meghan told me to go into it casually, this was not the focus, to take it easy until mile 45, then push hard.

Ma Clique. PC Brett Rivers

Friday before the race I had so much fun. I got to run with Bryon Powell, Eric Schranz, Mario Fraioli (IRunFar, UltraRunnerPodcast, Competitor Mag) as well as most of the TNF team- it was a fast taper run! whoops! After we got to collaborate in a research and development meeting about footwear and apparel. I had never been to one of these so it was super interesting! I also got to see all my SFRC friends and Mary, whom I had missed very much! My friend from NYC/VT Rachel Long flew out to do her first 50, too, so that was awesome catching up with her. All of a sudden the day had gone by and it was time for bed!

3 am. Ugh. Such an early start! I ate my oats, egg, blueberries, and coffee and my Dad and I headed to the headlands. Of course, being the rookie that I am, I forgot body glide (real smart for a wet and muddy course) and frantically had to borrow from super accomplished TNF ultra runner, Kami Semick (embarrassing!). The gun went off and we all filed out in a frenzied dash. I tried to keep it under control, but so fast! I was in the elite wave (!!), so everybody was on edge. The first two loops went by quickly and quietly. It was effortless. I got to share the sunrise with Michael Stricklan and the climb up Miwok to Tennessee Valley. That was mile 14, where I would see my crew- my mom and sister, Nicki. Wow. They were on it. Each time I saw them, Nicki would take the trash from my front pocket, my mom would put gels in my back pocket, and I would switch my water bottle for a full one. I don't think I spent more than 60 seconds at any aid station. At this point and at Cardiac later, I saw Bryon Powell taking pictures and I thought, oh no, if I'm seeing him I MUST be going way too fast! But It was such a comfortable pace! I kept thinking about an inevitable blow up...

Fast Start! PC TNFECS.

Running down the coastal trail and along the cliffs by Pirates Cove was magical. The fog and sun loved the landscape in a way I had never seen before- it was incredible. I made a friend and we talked for a bit. The he took off or I passed him, I can't quite remember. Before I knew it, I was at mile 18 at Muir Beach. Ellie Greenwood was there, unexpectedly, cheering runners on. I hit the station just under 3 hours. Which shocked me! Down the road, I saw my mom and sister cheering for me. I did not know they would be there, but it was such a welcome surprise!

Clowning around in the dark with Stricklan! (PC)

Next up was a giant climb up starting steep and then gradually tapering off to Cardiac. I thought for sure this was where the inevitable end would be. Last time I ran up this, it was an epic fail of all proportions. I was running up with a man from London, and we enjoyed some words, especially his accent! Then, I just kept running up and up and up- feeling perfectly fabulous. I caught up to Stricklan and passed him, getting some words of wisdom. At the Cardiac aid station, I grabbed some coke and refilled my bottle. The volunteers commented on how pretty my sparkly nail polish was! haha Running through Pantoll station, I again saw my mom & sis- another welcome surprise! Then onto my favorite trail in the Mt Tam area- Matt Davis.

Depiction of a "funsies" 50 mile race looks like.

Cruising through the redwoods and rushing streams was so delightful. I purposely splashed through it all! The out and back to McKennan Gulch was, in my opinion, especially tough and where I felt the worst all day. Not because it was necessarily difficult terrain or steep, but because the singletrack was so narrow and runners were whizzing past you in the opposite direction so fast. There was very little room for error. And constantly having to step up off the trail felt weird and kept me out of rhythm. However, I got to see so many familiar and smiling faces that I passed going out and back. I think this was the best part of the race, too. The community was really alive and flourishing. 99% of all people shouted out encouragements; "good job! way to go! nice work! hey kelsie! looking good! etc." It made me smile, laugh, and put a pep in my step.  Heading down into Stinson on the technical, wet trail was a little dodgy. I made a friend and we kept each other company with great conversation- he was a nurse so we had lots to talk about, which took my mind off of the task at hand.

"I'm listening to Demi!" love my crew!

Getting into the Stinson aid station, I again saw my family. I felt like I was a NFL player entering the superbowl the way that spectators were cheering and lining the road like a tunnel. Here I took two advil, which I could have done without, but I thought might be nice to take the edge off the stiffness. My new friend and I started the climb out of Stinson and up Steep Ravine. I kept thinking, okay, now this is where you'll blow up. After all, Stinson beach was mile 33.5 and I had hit my second best 50k time. But I just kept running up and soaking in the energy from the redwoods and greenery. A hiker was going down the trail and asked which way Stinson beach was. I flexed and laughingly responded in an Arnold Schwarzenneger-like voice, "The beach is that way". haha I couldn't resist and it was the PERFECT moment for that kind of stunt!

This is what 90% of the day looked like

Up at Cardiac, I prepared mentally for a long, hurting downhill back down the way we came up. By now, all the 50k-ers and marathoners were out on the course and so the trail was not only heavily trafficked, but destroyed. It was super slick, muddy, and dodgy in every way possible. On one of the sharp turns down Heather Cutoff I slipped on some mud and totally ate shit. literally. I was now covered in mud, my water bottle nozzle was brown and I was chewing on some grainy gross stuff for the remainder of the race. But I just laughed it off, thinking how silly I must look. I eventually caught up to friend Mario Diego and a female 50 miler. This gave me a little incentive to push a bit so I could stay in front of her. Finally seeing another woman after AGES sparked the competitive nature in me. However, I had a HUGE climb out of Muir Beach, so I was a bit uneasy. Up until that climb I felt like I literally had fresh legs and had just started running; the 40+ previous miles had no effect. This climb was the only spot in the race I really walked. Sure, I took a few steps here and there up steep parts, but never really, "walked". This was a grinder. I set my sights on a guy in a red singlet and tried my best to keep up fast hiking. I was getting a bit tired by the top and thankful for the downhill to Tennessee Valley, mile 45, where I'd see my family. This aid station was BUSTLING. Tons of people and so much commotion. I didn't really pay attention to anything that was going on, except for my mom and sister. I grabbed two Gus from them and my new refilled water bottle and immediately started heading up Marincello; the last climb.

All Business heading into Tennesse Valley

My eyes set on hunting down Luanne & Jon

At the start of the climb, I saw Jon Bretan, who was coming out of a rough patch. He looked at me and went, "kelsie?! okay, if you're running up this, I have to, too." And then he took off. Thank god, because I was prepared to walk this one. But I slowly tried to keep him in sights and make my way up the hill. Meghan had said to go hard the last 5 miles and so I was really pushing at this point. My ipod died, I was tired, mentally hurting and now physically feeling all of those miles before. I wouldn't call it a low point, but it definitely wasn't comfortable from here on out. As we neared the Alta aid station, I shared a couple meters with a man in an orange shirt. He told me he had two daughters and that I was super inspiring for him and that he cannot wait to tell them I was up there running with him for 50 miles. He was the one who really turned it on for me. He told me, "okay, you will definitely break 9 hours, now you have to go for it!" I'm so grateful for that extra push and boost in confidence. I took off down the hill, giving everything I had. I caught Luanne Park, fellow Tamalpan, and also Jon Bretan. We raced it in together. I felt like I was sprinting. The cheers from the finish line were audible and I was gritting my teeth. That last little uphill on the road really, really sucked. I felt like I might have kicked too early and that I'd pass out right before the finish. But I heard my name and kept going. God, that finish line felt so good. I was so happy to cross it and be done!

The Best feeling.

I finished 112th overall, 18th female, and 1st in my 20-24 age group in 8:57.03. I really was astounded at the whole day. I had so much fun, smiling, laughing, dancing and singing along the course. I got to splash through mud and make friends, while seeing so many others. The aid station volunteers and spectators were so efficient, helpful, and set the bar extremely high for all other races. I am still in shock that I felt so good for so long and so comfortable at that distance.

The damage.

Jon Bretan & I

Post race, I got to hang out with some awesome friends, share in our accomplishments, trade stories, and recover well. I even got to swim in the Pacific Ocean for "ice bath" recovery! Now, I feel perfectly fine. My body isn't sore and I have no fatigue. So, I am super excited for Bandera 100km the first weekend of January! Western States ticket, I'm coming for you!

Rob Krar & I

Blue Skirt Posse- this chica is awesome!

This race and weekend wouldn't be possible with all the friends & family that support me so much. I am so grateful to my family as they are my #1 fans and the best support crew! My coach, Meghan Arbogast, has the best advice, and knows how to push me hard in training in just the right way. We work so well together and she is ever so patient with some of my whining and self-doubts! My trail running family up in the bay offers encouragement and advice that I would be lost without. A big thank you to The North Face for giving me the confidence and believing in my goals as an athlete.

Gear used:
TNF better than naked singlet & skirt
TNF arm warmers & Ultra Cardiac shoes
Petzl Tikka RXP headlamp
Nathan 18oz handheld bottle (2)
S! caps every hour
14 Gu gels (every 40 min, then every 30min 2nd Cardiac on)
coke 3x at various aid stations
Stance compression 1/4 calf socks.
Taylor Swift & Drake & Others on the iPod shuffle