Couch to 100km. #NeverStopSmiling

Shuffle run. 3 minutes. Walk. 1 minute. Shuffle again. Finally I reach a bench. I sit down and glare at the glistening Lake and watch the moon & street lamp cast shadows along the path. It's a beautiful, warm night and I'm finally able to somewhat run after 2.5 weeks confined to the couch. Yet, I can't appreciate the serenity and stillness of 10:48 pm. Instead, many self- deprecating thoughts encircle my mind. Why did you move here? You don't have any friends here. 2.5 weeks on the couch has made you fat. Why can't you actually get through a training cycle? You're dumb enough to have hopes of fulfilling your goals this year? Who are you kidding, this sucks. Running is stupid.

Warning. Melted crayons in mountains may not be potable.

I stood up and started the trot back. Why am I thinking this? Champions don't sell themselves short. People that go after their dreams have to start somewhere. Don't freaking feel sorry for yourself; that's what losers do. Failing is on the road to success. It felt as though both sides of the coin were sitting on my shoulders, tearing my consciousness apart. It was an endless cycle of feeling lazy, then guilty, then motivated, then apathetic.

1 month later I stood on the start line of the Waldo 100k. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I originally entered the lottery with pie in the sky dreams of winning the race. I actually imagined crossing the line, what I would do with my arms, and hugging Meghan triumphantly. When I stood next to friends in the darkness, I wondered if I would even be able to finish.

Pre race done right.

With two weeks of knowing I would definitely race, Meghan gave me all sorts of tips and I prepared myself mentally for a long battle. She instructed me to run the first half with my HRM and take it easy. Since I haven't worn one of those chafe-traps in forever- let alone longer than 6 miles, I was apprehensive about following it for 30 miles. Nevertheless, I lubed up and chugged up the first climb.

Loping along the singletrack in the early, pink light, I felt free and happy. It was as though I was a doe bounding through the woods (my spirit animal), and again, I let myself imagine what it would be like to bound along the final three Rosary lakes feeling like this.

My friends are amazing.

I made it up to Fuji Mtn and saw a glorious audience of mountains and felt even more rejuvenation. Meghan was at the top and greeted me with a big smile & I forget who I knuckle punched, but it was awesome. Coming back down, I was smiling and dancing, seeing all my friends in the race. It was pretty fantastic. Soon, I caught up with Andrea Thorpe (she witnessed a fun bush sesh- sorry again!) and Ken Sinclair right as we entered the Mt Ray aid station. Despite being in that ideal HR range, I was feeling pretty jazzed up, especially listening to the Chicago Broadway soundtrack and I bolted out of there. I was pretty much alone the rest of the way; I would catch up to some guys, hang with them for 100-400m or so, then be on my merry way.

Chloe. Sorry boys she's taken.

I knew I was in second place at this point, and couldn't understand how; I was just waiting for hordes of people to pass me. All morning I was sticking to my tried and true (thanks stephanie) plan of 1 gel every 20-30 minutes. I even had a watch beep just for the occasion. All of a sudden, my stomach decided it was joining the Olympic diving team, and started doing triple backflips. Long story short, from miles 27 to 41 I was puking. Nothing I could eat or drink could stay down. Now, I blame myself for all my alpine excursions, drinking from alpine streams and lakes unfiltered and eating questionable chicken the friday before. I don't blame the heat, because I never actually felt hot during the day. (I'm sure I looked REAL hot puke-running though. Boys on the course, if you didn't get my number, leave a comment below).

Before. PC LongRun

After. Sums up the day quite nicely. PC LongRun

In my mind, I thought of how badass Rory Bosio was with severe food poisoning during BOTH the Atacama Xtreme 100 & Lavaredo Ultra. I tried to channel her and do things with a smile. Because hey, if you're smiling, then things are alright. And, I reasoned that I was coherent (still singing T swift) and able to keep running, so I did.

Couch snuggles with Riley!

To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings- sure they were beautiful, but I was just watching the miles tick by and rationing out what food I could stomach over time. I kept imagining Stephanie rolling her eyes at my pathetic attempt at getting in calories. The one solid thing I remember in that stretch were the aid stations. Coming into Charleton lake, I was greeted by a raucous party. I saw many loving friends and back flopped into the glimmering waters (damn I wish it would float me away in a current). The same applied to the others- wonderful people treating me so well before kicking my butt back into the forest.

I kept running. I didn't know how it was possible and I was still incredulous that I was doing this, and doing this in second place. There MUST have been a fire breathing dragon blocking the trail from Andrea and the others... I watched my watch tick past 50 miles, the longest I've run since White River 50 mile, a whole year plus before. At this point, my body was starting to cramp up from dehydration & lack of calories. But nothing was stopping me. I KNEW it was possible to get to the finish line. I reasoned with the same logic as before; just keep moving and doing what you can with what you've got. I plastered a smile over my grimace- because smiles can do anything. (Must've looked like SUCH a lunatic). Soon enough, I came to the Maiden Peak aid station, where I had volunteered last year. They gave me a popsicle and cheered me up to the summit. I knew these last 12 miles- Monkeyboy took me on a bonkalicious death march the summer prior. It was just 3 more miles of up and then down.

Best Friends! At Trampled By Turtles

Up at the summit, the cramping turned to pain. I was embraced by Kim at the top and I almost started crying in her arms. But she pushed me away down the mountain before any tears fell. Like I told myself a month ago on the park bench, I would not cry. I have come so far and gone through too much in the last year that the crying was over. I was chasing AND getting my dreams, so I had to smile.

I love the Queen! PC LongRun

I smile-grimaced, laugh-shouted through utter anguish on the leap of faith. Woof, man. That just did me in. The rest of the way was all downhill, unlike how I remembered it from my run with MB. My knees felt like someone was unscrewing them with a dull knife. My calf & feet felt like they were being incinerated. Yet, I kept moving. I knew if I stopped, it needed to be at the finish line. I kept calculating and recalculating the time left and wondered if I'd ever get to the side path from the PCT.

LB getting his WS qualifier PC LongRun Pic Co

I was running like a baby cow with three legs taking it's first steps, but I realized I was going to finish. And I let myself acknowledge that I'd get second place. I immediately, in classic fashion, fell down and started sobbing. I had withheld so much and gutted through so much pain to get to the finish that it finally came flooding out. It was quite an embarrassing scene as the ski patrol medics carted me off in a wheelchair (totally unnecessary- I was broken but I could've probs just shuffled).

Chloe get er done. PC Golden Mama Elke

I feel so so fortunate to finish this race surrounded by so many integral members of my friend group. Meghan- basically my more-than-running-life-coach, was the RD and got me to BOTH lines; she also has introduced me to her friend group, which basically hunted on a saturday in oregon rather than a tuesday in auburn. There were really too many people to name that were amplifying the stokage that weekend. I will say, I really owe a lot of my mental strength to my beautiful friend Chloe Romero, who was a certifiable badass finishing the race; she sent me flowers with a note saying "Stay gritty" during a pretty bleak period. Stephanie Howe is always such an inspiration & best friend, and just by sending a text saying "you can do anything you set your heart & mind to" really stuck with me, hard. And then I got to go to a concert with her & Zach in Bend and wake up with ocean rolls on her birthday!!! (Felt like more of a present to me than it probs did to her, ha!) Thank you to my super rad sponsors for supporting me with all the miles (The North Face, Julbo USA, Sisu Girls, Victory Sportsdesign). Additionally, all the various people back at home that believe in me, I'm truly grateful. Sometimes it's hard to believe in myself, but having such a lovely community, really makes me smile. And that's all I need.

Next up.

Race Report: Bandera 100k

Shaking it out with Fernando!

Texas, where everything bites, stings and burns. How true is that statement! To start out, I’d like to say I went into this race with a fat ego, thinking it would be pancake flat, fast and I’d get my MUC spot to Western States. I’d had a great TNF50 race while feeling oh so casual. Very early into this race would my ego meet it’s match…

 Following TNF50, December was all about maintaining fitness and recovering. Sliding around in the mud in the Marin Headlands for 50 miles had caused the posterior tendon on my ankle to give me some issues as well as that calf felt pretty tight, thus resulting in mild footpain whenever I hit technical trails. This gave me some cause of concern because all I had heard about Bandera was that it was very rocky and technical. I trusted in my abilities to maneuver such terrain, but spent most of December running on roads, fire roads or smooth singletrack. I had also been doing several runs at midday to prepare for the Texas heat…

Prerace: clean, a little warm, & confident

 Fast forward to days before the race, while in SLO I casually pulled up the weather forecast for Bandera on Saturday. The high was predicted to be 32 degrees with a chance of snow. What?! Race history has typically been in the 60s-70s with humidity. All of a sudden I had no idea what I would wear, what I would do for nutrition and what would happen. I kinda panicked a bit…

"Multicolored nails are the secrets to success"- Rory Bosio

 

Thursday Jan 8^th, I flew to San Antonio and met up with Fernando, a great friend from SF. We drove to Bandera and stayed the night just outside of town. I wore a single long sleeve, two different types of gloves and shorts on our Friday shakeout to test how cold it really was. My mom flew into Texas that night as she would crew for me all Saturday. Pretty soon it was race morning and I was sitting nervously sipping coffee. HERE is the women’s race preview.

I had to put my age group bib on my butt....

The gun went off and we went racing up the trail. The sun had just risen and it was still very, very cold. We immediately began climbing up the first hill. It was short, but the rocks were like stairs and the previous day’s rainfall had given them a nice fresh coat of ice. I settled with a couple women: Aliza and I think Nicole, but then they moved up and I joined another couple women: Leslie, Ashley & Traci. We were talking casually and getting to know each other. One of the funnier moments of the day was, I think it was Leslie and Ashley, were talking about how many/how old their kids were. They then asked me if I had any kids, to which I frantically responded “No! I’m twenty!!” Then they asked me if I was married! Haha! Not even close!

Where do I put these gels? (PC Victor B.)

This was the start- as none of us were covered in blood...

The first 15 miles or so were uneventful. Traci and I were rolling along and chatting some. The sotol was alive and well on the trail, which quickly bloodied up our legs pretty good. (She had pants so she didn’t really feel it). In these first 17 or so miles I was running relatively well, but it wasn’t with the ease I felt at TNF50. The trail was rocky, covered in ice, slick mud, or clay-like mud that sticks to your shoes, making them feel like bricks. Traci pulled away from me and I soon got into a rhythm with another guy, who happened to be from the Bay Area. We chatted some, but around mile 26, I started to feel really really crappy. My legs were hurting on the brutally steep, rocky downhills and the climbs were very steep as well. I was losing it mentally and I was cold. I really wanted to drop at the 50k. I had been thinking about it all those miles leading up to it. But I was also thinking about all the people back home cheering me on and supporting me. Also, I though about calling my coach Meghan post-drop and trying to explain to her why I had to DNF. None of my reasons were good enough and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to let anyone down and I didn’t have any physical ailment hindering me other than it just sucked and I was tired. (My foot pain- didn’t feel it once!) Once I got to 50k, my mom and Victor Ballesteros were there. I grabbed two advil, more Gu, a Clif Double Shot Espresso and was turned around so quickly I didn’t have a chance to drop. So I figured I might as well finish it…

Heading up the first hill, I was greeted with more & more Sotol. I learned I was in 7^th place and Leslie and Traci were hot on my tail. I had passed Traci heading up to the climbs towards the 50k mark and Leslie ran into the start/finish as I was headed out for the second loop. I saw a woman in all Buff gear climbing up. This further gave me motivation and I used a burst of speed to pass her. On the downhill, I smoked her; she was daintily avoiding the rocks whereas I just hurdled them. Soon, I couldn’t see her behind me and relaxed a bit. The game plan was to take the first 50k conservatively, use the second loop to move and give it my all on the last 10 miles especially. Pretty soon, I was running by myself with nobody to be seen and along rolling, gray, boring terrain. That part was tough. I had my ipod to keep me company.

Coming into Last chance at mi 26.

I came into the aid station at mile 42 and asked what place I was and how far ahead the others were. They didn’t know how far ahead they were, but I was now in 5^th place as Melanie had just dropped. I knew 5^th and 4^th were together at the 50k, so I figured she couldn’t be much farther ahead. I tried running faster and making up lost time, but I was so depleted and the mud and ice didn’t allow for very fast running. I had a glimmer of hope that I may be able to get the MUC spot. I kept repeating my mantras: Meghan had told me to “Be F**king Tough” and I kept telling myself “C’mon, you want this more than anything, where’s your hunger & fire?” The sotol stopped burning and I just didn’t give a sh*t anymore that I was going through a forest of razor blades.

I got to the first Cross Roads aid station a little out of sorts and was a bit rough with my mom and short of patience. I took off on the next, rockier part of that little loop and noticed my water tasted really funny. I couldn’t quite understand why: was I hungry? Was it just bad tap water? Will I get sick from it? I kept sipping it regardless to stay hydrated. Later, I found out when I asked my mom to put salt caps in my bottle (I meant the holder pocket), she had put a handful of them in the actual bottle with the water; I was basically drinking clean ocean water. Ha!

The snow-rain had washed most of it off...

I soon, finished that loop and before I knew it I was back at cross roads. I grabbed my headlamp and headed out for the last ten miles. Game time. I “sped” up (it’s all relative at this point) and kept trying to push myself up and over the climbs. It was really hard at that point. My quads were toast, but I had no idea how far ahead the other women were. My next goal, when I realized I wouldn’t get the MUC spot (I tried not to let this derail me) was to break 11 hours, I was borderline on pace for it, but it was definitely going to be a push. When I hit Last Chance with 5 miles to go and the two worst climbs of the course, I was gunning it. I took another Double Shot espresso and ran as hard as I could. I couldn’t even stop to pee really quickly because I was so focused on finishing. I was so so close! The minutes ticked by even closer to 11 hours and I was still a bit farther out. It was pure anguish at that point. Three of my favorite songs came on, by chance, to take me in: Santana’s “Smooth”, Madonna’s “4 minutes” (fitting for the time frame), and Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”. The final descent came and I was sprinting (again, relatively) at that point. I didn’t care if I was stubbing my toes on the rocks; I just had to get over them as fast as I could possibly muster. I wasn’t even on the homestretch before tears came unknowingly. I ran across the line right into my mom’s arms. (No fetal position with Victor to console me this time!) The race director, Joe Prusaitis, asked how old I was and then remarked to the crowd how he needs to start carding at his races (a 19 yr old ran to 3^rd place). I was given my awards and we drove to the best and only taqueria in Bandera (my mom, Fernando and I).

Looking a little Traumatized

I had finished 13^th overall, 5^th woman (4^th USATF woman), with a time of 11:01.50. (Oh so close). It’s bitingly disappointing to not achieve my goals and not get a spot to Western States 100 (Especially when it was 34 minutes away), but given the conditions and tough as nails competition, I am happy with this accomplishment. I guess I ran a 100k & 50 mi PR, my 2^nd fastest 50k & 4^th fastest 50k… (5:20 & 5:41). I’m pretty humbled and glad to have overcome mental canyons. This blog post was pretty hard to write; I am still feeling upset and down. Most people are asking what is next, and I have no idea. Maybe pursue a spot to WS somewhere else? It’s a tough call. Five weeks between a 50miler and this was hard to do, I don’t know if I can do it again. I am definitely aiming to do a 100 this summer, it’s just difficult to know at the moment. So, I guess stay tuned…

His name is "Waffles"

As always, I am oh so grateful to my supportive family, friends, and community. My mom came to crew me and did a fabulous job of putting up with me and keeping me decently happy for 11 hours, then taking on the mom role of taking care of me post race. All my friends supporting and encouraging me back home was really motivating and I definitely wouldn’t have the strength to finish without thoughts of all of you. Fernando is truly an amazing travel companion and I’d be so lost without him pretty much organizing the trip. World’s best coach award goes to Meghan Arbogast; her advice, knowledge, and friendship means the world to me and I’m so happy to have The Queen as a role model to learn from. Huge shoutout to The North Face for creating amazing gear that kept me warm and content all day long. I’d also like to say I’m super excited to be a part of Julbo’s family for 2015, repping the sickest shades on the market. (They matched perfectly with my outfit) As well as on Petzl’s regional team; I’d be crawling blindly through the hills without the RXP headlamp.

For all those curious, data-analyzing folks out there, HERE is my strava data. Also, HERE is the post race interview with Victor Ballesteros & UltraSportsLive.tv (Note: I am not all “there”, as I literally had JUST finished…)

Gear Used:

Garmin 910xt

Julbo sunglasses- Access

SFRC buff

TNF Ultra Cardiac shoes

TNF rain jacket, light windbreaker, arm sleeves, T shirt, skirt, gloves, Stow N Go Bra

Stance mid-calf compression socks

Petzl Tikka RXP

 

Nutrition:

4 dixie cups of coke

Water

S! Caps (1 every hour plus the ones mixed in my water…)

Gu Energy Gel & Clif Double Shot Espresso (1 gel every 30 minutes)

Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc: CCC 100k Race Report

Race day.
I could not sleep the night before. I was so freaking excited. It was really hard to calm down and get some rest. In the morning I woke up and ate breakfast and drank my coffee, then made my way over to the square. For us, since we started in courmayeur, Italy we got a free ride through the tunnel from chamonix. My mom and grandma came along too and it was so cool to show them the first climb and to see courmayeur. I love that town. It's so small, very Italian, and just has a great vibe.

Everything laid out & ready!

Getting in the start corral was nerve racking. They were playing dramatic music and the French-Italian announcer was shouting into the mic as if he were announcing a soccer game! There were thousands of people all crowded into the street. Of course, Gina Lucrezi, new friend & badass US runner, and I had to go to the bathroom ten minutes before the start so instead of just peeing on the side of the road we opted to climb out and go right next to the bank in the trees in front of everybody. Hahaha my mom and grandma were appalled but such is ultra racing!

101km to go

My grandma, mom & I!

During the start and our run trough the town streets there were gopro drones flying all around and people were hanging out of every window, balcony and street corner cheering us on with cowbells and horns. I've never experienced anything like that and I couldn't help but grin and wave to the families.

After taking a tour of courmayeur, the race gets right down to business with a 10km climb to tête de la troche with ***m gain. We poured onto a single track trail and immediately started hiking. I pulled out my poles and followed the long train of runners up. It was pretty cool to look up and see a line of runners zig zag up the mountain and then below see the line trail off into the trees. Up at the top, everybody started running fast downhill to the first aid station, Bertone. Once there, I took a sip of coke and kept on my way. At this point I was running and at a very breezy pace. The trail rolled up and down with sweeping views of the glaciers and mountains. It was breathtaking. Before the race I had completely forgotten to sharpie the course profile and aid stations on my arm so I was kind of running blind as to where I was headed. I knew there was another big climb ahead, but I didn't know where and kept getting "faked out" by mini climbs that looked giant.

One of the Aid Station parties

I then pulled down my pants for all to see. #chafingsucks

Two really important questions I learned to ask were "c'est loin la refuge?" (Is The refuge far?) & "combien kilomètre jusqu'à la refuge?" (How many kilometers to the refuge?). At the bottom of the first downhill I came to the first big aid station, Arnuva. People were lining the course on the way cheering and yelling your name. "Allez Kelsie allez!" "Tres beau!" At that aid station I had some coke, coffee, filled my water flasks, and drank some soup. The soup and coffee were amazing and quickly became the aid station staple. They also had giant platters of fruit- dried and fresh, salami, dried sausage, chocolate, tea, and I'm sure other things. I tried not to linger and just went on my way. At the aid stations and major checkpoints, they had volunteers out there scanning our bibs, which was pretty legit and cool.

Soon we started climbing again up to the col du ferret. It was another long monstrous climb, but the views were again insane and I actually enjoyed it! The wildflowers on the hill were every type and color imaginable and the light shining through the clouds hit the grass in such a way as to illuminate each hill and cascade of rock. At the top I stopped to put my poles back in my pack as I had 20km of downhill. Kim Gaylord had told me earlier before Europe that the downhill and valley part was super runnable so I was looking forward to banking some time. This was not the case. I was having issues not being able to go to the bathroom and my stomach cramped the whole way down. It was painful and I was very slow. It was also very steep and painful. The downhill and rolling gravel road alongside the river to La Fouly. La fouly was a giant aid station and once I scanned in, the announcer shouted to the crowd "Kelsie Clausen arrive à la fouly! Elle est américain et la pommier espoir femme!" (Kelsie arrived at la fouly! She is American and the first espoir female- Which is my age group). At this station I drank my coffee & coke, ate bananas wrapped in salami (go down faster) and drank my noodle soup. I was confused about the course and thought champex, the halfway mark, was much closer. I was surprised la fouly was so big because I thought champex was just down the road maybe 5km... Thankfully I had eaten (thinking I could breeze through champex) because when I asked how far to champex, a man replied "quatorze kilomètre". 14 kilometers. Fml. I started running, weaving through the woods along the river. I was having a really rough low point and was super discouraged that champex was far. I was already about 7-8 hours in and feeling very crappy. I walked-jogged along, and just kind of sulked. I was so far deep in the pain cave at that point and was kind of falling apart. Then we got to go a little uphill and weave through a forest trail. On my shuffle, a song I really liked came on so I started singing along. I started moving faster, passing people on the uphill while actually running. I was bringing myself out of that dark place. I don't think all the men I passed liked that some young American girl singing Taylor swift or some Disney song was flying past. Eventually we got to a small town and we weaved through it. Champex was taking forever to get to, but at least all the families and townspeople were out waving and cheering. Small children crowded the roadside and held out their hands for high fives. I felt like a super star whenever this happened.

Not my finest moments

We came out of the town and started climbing up this giant hill with no town in sight. I asked around but nobody spoke English. A man pulled out a map of the profile and showed me that we had a big climb to get up to champex. Again, the course threw a curveball that I had forgotten about. Ugh. I got back into my dark hole as it was too steep and hard to sing and the miles were catching up to me.

Putting my head down leaving Champex. Primal Mode: <ON>

I finally got to champex and was welcomed by my aunt who ran with me into the aid station. I was so relieved to see them after 9 hours it was incredible the emotions I felt. My mom rushed around inside to get me some food and I sat down for a bit to eat it and prepare my pack with picky bars and gels for the next bit. My grandma and aunt watched from behind the wall as I sat sullenly looking at my feet and sipping my soup. I had no energy to do anything and just felt like crap. Everybody in the aid station also got to see me pull down my pants and put stuff all over my inner thighs for the chafing. I walked out of the aid station 12 mins later with my family for a bit. I told them how long it might take for the next climb and descent to trient and then I was on my way.

I ran along the lake and down a sort of fire road that was flat. Something must have just clicked because I started to feel better and just busted up the climb to bovine/ la Giete. Kim had said this was a really difficult climb to get a rhythm on and feel good, but I thought I was cruising up. I didn't think it was too bad. It had started to rain in champex so I had my rain jacket on and buff since it was cold. Up near the top there was a giant field full of the biggest cows I had ever seen. I had heard the cowbells and so I thought it was the top and people cheering. But my spirits were brightened as I really loved the beautiful sound the bells made. At the top it had gotten dark so I traded out my petzl rxp for the buff. The man said I had cinq 5 km to trient and I took off. I was running/flying downhill. I really owe a lot of it to the petzl. The light was so bright and the reactive setting helped when I would look ahead to see how much more downhill there was. I came into trient and was again greeted by my family. This stop was very efficient and I walked with them out again very quickly. I don't think I ever spent more than ten minutes at a station other than champex. My main goal was to keep moving towards the finish. I didn't want to stop for a while just because I knew I could stop at the finish and wanted it to be done faster.

Happy in Trient

The next climb up Catogne was harder in my opinion. There was lots of really rocky and scree-like sections or creek crossings. I had noticed two women I was yo yo-ing with all day and I got a little competitive. On the downhill to vallorcine I passed a woman and rushed to get out of sight so she couldn't chase me. But that downhill was a lot harder and it took me a while to get down. I felt like I was hiking downhill and I had to use my poles to support myself as my hamstrings were gone and my quads were beaten. I commiserated with an Aussie for a bit but then he took off. I got into vallorcine and it was just my mom there. I took a Tylenol pill and rushed out (I saw another woman there and wanted to get in front of her). My mom had told me I was around 13,14th at champex and so I was super excited that I might break into the top ten. Leaving vallorcine, I grabbed a dry pair of gloves and started running. It was rolling along the river and I finally knew this part of the trail. I knew what was coming and where to go. For the first time all day, I was completely alone. There were no headlamps in front of behind me and nobody along the course. It was just ten after midnight when I left so most of the little town was probably asleep! I ran past a bar and everybody was out blowing vuvuzelas and cheering and told me I was very fast and looked good. (In French of course). When people are out standing in the middle of the night to watch you struggle run by, you can't help but smile and shout back "merci beaucoup! Bon soir!!" From vallorcine I knew I had one more climb up col de montets to the tête aux vents then it was "all" downhill to flegere and chamonix. I had tunnel vision for the finish. Everybody had told me that the last climb was the worst and the slowest and the hardest.

Excited to be running through the night?

But I flew up to the Tête aux vents. I passed so many people on such rough terrain. I didn't feel any pain or soreness or fatigue. I was too excited. I could see why it would be so hard, because there were lots of big steps and parts where I actually had to use my hands to climb up rocks. At the top the officials told me I had dix 10km to go. I took off running thinking flegere was close and it was all downhill. It was not. It was super rocky, not runnable terrain, and rolling (mostly uphill) to flegere. The rocks were wet and slick with mud and the rain. A couple times I had to get on my butt and slide down for fear of tripping and falling. This part was discouraging. I retreated back into the dark corner of my pain cave and stayed there. My iPod died and I was left with silence and darkness all around me. The worst part was that I could see the lights of flegere (the last aid station at a ski lift) but it seemed I wasn't making any progress. There wasn't anybody around me and I realized it would take me maybe another hour to get to chamonix. My feet were tired and sore and I didn't have any more gels with me. (After 8 hours the picky bars got really old and I had to keep forcing them down. I abandoned eating them after 15 hours when I got to vallorcine). Finally I made it up the very pronounced hill to flegere but saw a woman just in front. I snuck my way past her and completely bypassed the aid station. I just wanted it all to be over as fast as possible. The downhill to chamonix was long and hard. It was steep and hurt a lot. I needed to use the poles and slowly made my way down. Once I hit the pavement road I started running. I knew the course weaves trough town so I was mentally prepared for the fake outs. I ran as fast as I could (probably jogging speed) through town. It was shocking to see so many people out and about cheering me on. It was 3:45 am after all!!

All smiles.

Rounding the final turn and seeing the grand arch is the best thing I had seen all day. I crossed the line amidst photographers flashing pics, families cheering and an official shouting like the man at the start. I immediately sat down and started bawling. All the emotion I didn't have to energy to feel pent up for almost 19 hours came pouring out. I didn't know how to react after finishing the hardest thing I had ever done. I had run 101km (63mi), climbed/descended 6110+m (20,000') in 18:53 minutes. I was 275th overall, 21st female and won my age group as the youngest finisher (ever?). My family was there to congratulate me and share the amazing moment.

No words.

I really can't describe the finish in words or even expressions. It felt so good and so deeply affected me that this is pretty much all I can say about it.

After the race, I went back to my moms hotel and tried to sleep. My legs were in so much pain that all I could do was lie there. In the morning I got up and did some more walking around which really helped. I felt better as the day progressed. Unfortunately, I didn't really have much of an appetite. The only thing I ate post race was a pizza, some bread and gelato.

How to recover properly

Gina & I!

In the afternoon, I got to watch the first utmb finishers arrive. When François arrived you would have thought the queen of England was finishing. The streets were packed with people, the announcers going crazy, the dramatic theme song blaring, cameras everywhere. He had broken the course record and it was just so exciting to watch it all unfold. A couple hours later I went back to watch rory bosio, who I'm very proud to call my friend, win for the second year in a row. I felt overwhelmed with happiness to see her cross the line. She did all her little jumps and dances and curtsying for the cameras and crowd in typical utmb drama fashion.

This girl rocks!

Later that night we all went out dancing at a local bar. I'm still impressed how late she stayed out and all her dancing shenanigans... You must get a superpower if you win!! Haha

Sunday morning there was the award ceremony. It was verrrryyyy long and dramatic and all in French. It was thrilling though. I'm very inspired and now determined to return for the full utmb and make my way onto that stage. For winning my age group I won the best prize ever. I got a TNF backpack with a gift certificate to TNF and a big cowbell with an inscribed leather handle. The cowbell is now one of my favorite possessions. It has such a beautiful sound and sentimental worth.

My most prized possession!

Unfortunately my time in chamonix has come to an end. I spent 26 days in the most beautiful, cultural, fun mountain town. I am already dreaming of coming back and I already miss it greatly. The opportunities I had, the people I met, food eaten, the trails run and sights seen will forever be etched in my memory as the trip of a lifetime.

J'ADORE FRANCAIS!

I am so so grateful for everybody who had helped me get here and finish this amazing race. My family has been so supportive of me running at all hours of the day and night to prepare and going to the aid stations to crew me. That was the highlight to get me moving along and I couldn't have done it without them. The community of runners and friends have me shocked with their love and care and congratulations. I'm taken aback by all the support. My coach Meghan is awesome. She is a badass ultra runner and has really helped me build the confidence and physical/mental ability to get through something this epic. I completely trust in her training, advice and have very much appreciated her feedback. I would be stumbling aimlessly around Mont Blanc without her!

I also want to thank The North Face for all their support and kindness. Their apparel was so great that I had no need to touch the other gear in my pack. The many people behind the brand that I got to meet have been so kind and encouraging as well.

Lastly, thank you to Taylor Swift and Disney for getting me out of the bad times :)

Gear used:
Salomon sense 12 set
Black diamond Z poles
Salomon waterproof gloves (required gear)
TNF e tip gloves (much warmer)
TNF t shirt, long sleeve, arm warmers, capris, feather lite jacket and rain jacket, rain pants
Victory sports design buff
Lulu lemon beanie
Julbo sunglasses
Swift wick socks
Salomon sense ultra sg
2xu calf sleeves
Picky bars & Gu gels
2 Petzl rxp headlamps

Bittersweet

Call Me Ultra

The headlands 50k. 8.24.13.

Last July I was sitting in an airport, bored, flying home after pacing Jon in the vt100. I was googling random things, mostly races. He had mentioned the Headlands 50k, which I had heard about before. Then after meticulously reading through the website, I found there was no age group record for females 20 & under. It immediately sparked my attention. I texted Mary and Liz right away and asked "what if?" The race was a month away and I was training to try and make D1 XC team at cal poly. No way was I in any shape to run a hard 50k race. So I let it go. 

Fast forward through the school year. I got injured and didn't make the D1 time standard the coach had, but rehabed my severely sprained ankle and ran club XC. In the spring I continuously increased my long runs and ran more hills, despite it being track season. I still had headlands on my mind and knew I'd run it this year. 

As soon as registration opened, I signed up. Two weeks later I also decided maybe I should run a marathon first in prep and signed up for a road one as well. That's a different race report though... :)

After track season and school got out, I came back home to work at SFRC and train on the course. With the great running community established at the store, I found many supporters and received a lot of advice. I also had some quality training runs on the course. 

Race morning I felt sharp, eager, excited, and springy. It was awesome socializing and knowing almost everybody there.

I lined up in front, behind Varner and next to the top ladies. I chased Bree from the beginning and held on for the first two miles. But going up coastal out of muir beach I fell back and decided it was smarter to race after the first half. So I kept running and enjoyed the scenery. I was still in about 6-7th place going up wolf ridge and I listened to a couple people's conversations. Coming down into rodeo beach was awesome. I had the folks on the sfrc group long run cheering me on as well as my grandpa on his bike. 

Going up miwok to Tennessee valley I felt confident. I just kept repeating my mantra: relax, be strong, be smart, be fun, be fluid. Once I hit Tennessee valley and started going up miwok from that side, I started feeling sick from all the sugars I was eating in the Gu and electrolyte drink. It was too much for me and I felt terrible miles 11-16. I just kept telling myself I'd see Mary at hwy 1, mile 14.5. Once there I switched to plain water in my bottle, which helped, and it was relieving just to see her and my friends there volunteering.

I had felt like puking up to that aid station and after down to muir woods. Strangely, I felt way better running up cardiac. It was hot and hard, but I ran most of the way up and passed several people suffering in the heat. It was like I had come back from the dead; a feeling unknown to me in my short running career. I got to the cardiac aid station and was welcomed by my friends there. They took care of me by filling my water bottle and giving me a cup of water to drink and half a cup of coke. I stayed for maybe less than two minutes and continued on to pantoll, welcoming the shade. I felt significantly better coming off of cardiac and one of the men I passed exclaimed I had, "come back alive". I felt like I was leaping and bounding down Matt Davis, which I always run with joy, towards Stinson because it is one of my favorite stretches of trail. And because I knew I just had one more big hill and a fast downhill to go. 

I passed a woman and apparently moved into 7th place according to a man who was counting on the side of the trail. She passed me again and I lost sight of her. I got to Stinson and I could feel what felt like a small rock in my shoe. I ignored it and headed through the aid station. I filled up my bottle and got some water splashed on my back. It must have taken all of 30 seconds; I don't even think I stopped! Then I started the long last trek up Stinson and steel ravine. It was hot, I was tired, and it felt hard. I power walked the hills on the moors with Andrea, a woman I had helped at the store and caught up to.  We chit chatted in between huffs and puffs. She told me I was like a little mountain fairy and would soon pass her. She pulled ahead for a little bit and I lost her in the switchbacks up Steep Ravine, but I caught up with a man and charged up the trail. I pulled him along with me and he talked to me, keeping me sane and present with my mind.  Thank goodness for that; I was starting to lose my racing mind! I caught up to Andrea and passed her soon after the ladder as if she were standing still. This did wonders to my self-esteem and confidence. I soon passed another woman at Pantoll who cheered me on. I was on fire at that point. I was ripping up the trail at sub7 min pace, anxious she'd catch me again as I had moved into 5th place.

As I approached the 27.5 mile, last aid station at Cardiac, I thought, I'll finish in 22 minutes, it's not that far, she's right behind me, I don't need to refill my bottle or get anything! Wrong. Half a mile later, I stopped dead in my tracks as if I had been hit by a wrecking ball. I was hot and dehydrated. I continued running because then i'd finish sooner and get water and just be done. I wanted to cry I was so tired and dehydrated.  I painfully made my way down the switchbacks of Heather Cutoff with the finish line in sight. Two men were hounding me right behind, but wouldn't pass, so I felt pressured and even more anxious.  Moreover, the woman passed me in that last mile.  I almost cried when I saw Mary at the end of the switchbacks as she cheered me on to the finish. I ran 60 more yards to the finish.  I had absolutely nothing left. No finishing kick, no more motivation, nothing.  I didn't even have the strength to stand. I collapsed at the line and was half-crying, half-laughing.  My mom, friends and the race director, Tim, crowded around me congratulating me and asking me if I was okay.  I was carried over to the medical tent and examined by the EMT.  I was force fed a bagel, coke, water, and grapes.  But I was so incredibly happy to be done and beamed with joy.  Afterwards I enjoyed firetrails pizza (despite being gluten and dairy intolerant), and two huge chocolate chip cookies.

In just 5:45 hours, I had finished 6th female, 52 overall, and set a new CR in the 20& under age group as the youngest to ever finish the Headlands 50k.  I am beyond happy and glad of my experience. I would definitely have changed a lot of things and have a lot of "could have, should have, what ifs", but I chalk it all up to learning experiences. I can't wait to improve and get after my next ultra!