Couch to 100km. #NeverStopSmiling

Shuffle run. 3 minutes. Walk. 1 minute. Shuffle again. Finally I reach a bench. I sit down and glare at the glistening Lake and watch the moon & street lamp cast shadows along the path. It's a beautiful, warm night and I'm finally able to somewhat run after 2.5 weeks confined to the couch. Yet, I can't appreciate the serenity and stillness of 10:48 pm. Instead, many self- deprecating thoughts encircle my mind. Why did you move here? You don't have any friends here. 2.5 weeks on the couch has made you fat. Why can't you actually get through a training cycle? You're dumb enough to have hopes of fulfilling your goals this year? Who are you kidding, this sucks. Running is stupid.

Warning. Melted crayons in mountains may not be potable.

I stood up and started the trot back. Why am I thinking this? Champions don't sell themselves short. People that go after their dreams have to start somewhere. Don't freaking feel sorry for yourself; that's what losers do. Failing is on the road to success. It felt as though both sides of the coin were sitting on my shoulders, tearing my consciousness apart. It was an endless cycle of feeling lazy, then guilty, then motivated, then apathetic.

1 month later I stood on the start line of the Waldo 100k. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I originally entered the lottery with pie in the sky dreams of winning the race. I actually imagined crossing the line, what I would do with my arms, and hugging Meghan triumphantly. When I stood next to friends in the darkness, I wondered if I would even be able to finish.

Pre race done right.

With two weeks of knowing I would definitely race, Meghan gave me all sorts of tips and I prepared myself mentally for a long battle. She instructed me to run the first half with my HRM and take it easy. Since I haven't worn one of those chafe-traps in forever- let alone longer than 6 miles, I was apprehensive about following it for 30 miles. Nevertheless, I lubed up and chugged up the first climb.

Loping along the singletrack in the early, pink light, I felt free and happy. It was as though I was a doe bounding through the woods (my spirit animal), and again, I let myself imagine what it would be like to bound along the final three Rosary lakes feeling like this.

My friends are amazing.

I made it up to Fuji Mtn and saw a glorious audience of mountains and felt even more rejuvenation. Meghan was at the top and greeted me with a big smile & I forget who I knuckle punched, but it was awesome. Coming back down, I was smiling and dancing, seeing all my friends in the race. It was pretty fantastic. Soon, I caught up with Andrea Thorpe (she witnessed a fun bush sesh- sorry again!) and Ken Sinclair right as we entered the Mt Ray aid station. Despite being in that ideal HR range, I was feeling pretty jazzed up, especially listening to the Chicago Broadway soundtrack and I bolted out of there. I was pretty much alone the rest of the way; I would catch up to some guys, hang with them for 100-400m or so, then be on my merry way.

Chloe. Sorry boys she's taken.

I knew I was in second place at this point, and couldn't understand how; I was just waiting for hordes of people to pass me. All morning I was sticking to my tried and true (thanks stephanie) plan of 1 gel every 20-30 minutes. I even had a watch beep just for the occasion. All of a sudden, my stomach decided it was joining the Olympic diving team, and started doing triple backflips. Long story short, from miles 27 to 41 I was puking. Nothing I could eat or drink could stay down. Now, I blame myself for all my alpine excursions, drinking from alpine streams and lakes unfiltered and eating questionable chicken the friday before. I don't blame the heat, because I never actually felt hot during the day. (I'm sure I looked REAL hot puke-running though. Boys on the course, if you didn't get my number, leave a comment below).

Before. PC LongRun

After. Sums up the day quite nicely. PC LongRun

In my mind, I thought of how badass Rory Bosio was with severe food poisoning during BOTH the Atacama Xtreme 100 & Lavaredo Ultra. I tried to channel her and do things with a smile. Because hey, if you're smiling, then things are alright. And, I reasoned that I was coherent (still singing T swift) and able to keep running, so I did.

Couch snuggles with Riley!

To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings- sure they were beautiful, but I was just watching the miles tick by and rationing out what food I could stomach over time. I kept imagining Stephanie rolling her eyes at my pathetic attempt at getting in calories. The one solid thing I remember in that stretch were the aid stations. Coming into Charleton lake, I was greeted by a raucous party. I saw many loving friends and back flopped into the glimmering waters (damn I wish it would float me away in a current). The same applied to the others- wonderful people treating me so well before kicking my butt back into the forest.

I kept running. I didn't know how it was possible and I was still incredulous that I was doing this, and doing this in second place. There MUST have been a fire breathing dragon blocking the trail from Andrea and the others... I watched my watch tick past 50 miles, the longest I've run since White River 50 mile, a whole year plus before. At this point, my body was starting to cramp up from dehydration & lack of calories. But nothing was stopping me. I KNEW it was possible to get to the finish line. I reasoned with the same logic as before; just keep moving and doing what you can with what you've got. I plastered a smile over my grimace- because smiles can do anything. (Must've looked like SUCH a lunatic). Soon enough, I came to the Maiden Peak aid station, where I had volunteered last year. They gave me a popsicle and cheered me up to the summit. I knew these last 12 miles- Monkeyboy took me on a bonkalicious death march the summer prior. It was just 3 more miles of up and then down.

Best Friends! At Trampled By Turtles

Up at the summit, the cramping turned to pain. I was embraced by Kim at the top and I almost started crying in her arms. But she pushed me away down the mountain before any tears fell. Like I told myself a month ago on the park bench, I would not cry. I have come so far and gone through too much in the last year that the crying was over. I was chasing AND getting my dreams, so I had to smile.

I love the Queen! PC LongRun

I smile-grimaced, laugh-shouted through utter anguish on the leap of faith. Woof, man. That just did me in. The rest of the way was all downhill, unlike how I remembered it from my run with MB. My knees felt like someone was unscrewing them with a dull knife. My calf & feet felt like they were being incinerated. Yet, I kept moving. I knew if I stopped, it needed to be at the finish line. I kept calculating and recalculating the time left and wondered if I'd ever get to the side path from the PCT.

LB getting his WS qualifier PC LongRun Pic Co

I was running like a baby cow with three legs taking it's first steps, but I realized I was going to finish. And I let myself acknowledge that I'd get second place. I immediately, in classic fashion, fell down and started sobbing. I had withheld so much and gutted through so much pain to get to the finish that it finally came flooding out. It was quite an embarrassing scene as the ski patrol medics carted me off in a wheelchair (totally unnecessary- I was broken but I could've probs just shuffled).

Chloe get er done. PC Golden Mama Elke

I feel so so fortunate to finish this race surrounded by so many integral members of my friend group. Meghan- basically my more-than-running-life-coach, was the RD and got me to BOTH lines; she also has introduced me to her friend group, which basically hunted on a saturday in oregon rather than a tuesday in auburn. There were really too many people to name that were amplifying the stokage that weekend. I will say, I really owe a lot of my mental strength to my beautiful friend Chloe Romero, who was a certifiable badass finishing the race; she sent me flowers with a note saying "Stay gritty" during a pretty bleak period. Stephanie Howe is always such an inspiration & best friend, and just by sending a text saying "you can do anything you set your heart & mind to" really stuck with me, hard. And then I got to go to a concert with her & Zach in Bend and wake up with ocean rolls on her birthday!!! (Felt like more of a present to me than it probs did to her, ha!) Thank you to my super rad sponsors for supporting me with all the miles (The North Face, Julbo USA, Sisu Girls, Victory Sportsdesign). Additionally, all the various people back at home that believe in me, I'm truly grateful. Sometimes it's hard to believe in myself, but having such a lovely community, really makes me smile. And that's all I need.

Next up.

Catching Up on a Race, Crew & Adventure Report

Legend... wait for it.... Dary. PC Joe McCladdie

Misty redwoods with Billy Yang PC Joe McCladdie

So life has gotten in the way of writing about the adventures I'm having. (Thankfully not getting in the way of adventures!)  Last I wrote, I had just paced Rory Bosio in a 100 mile race through the Chilean Atacama desert. Not two days back in SLO, I repacked my bag and drove up to Auburn for the Western States training camp weekend. It was a blast to run the last 75 miles of such an amazing course, and with the leisure of three days. The new and old friends I spent time with always make me appreciate our community. I am always, always blown away by the open arms and kindness shown to me by runners. It's like we have this special bond allowing us to feel these familial ties.

Girl Power PC Billy Yang

After being blissfully unaware of reality, I had to put my head down and finish up the school year strong. I had so much makeup work to do and studying for finals that not much else happened... Until finals week itself...

Wednesday of finals week, in June I turned 21. Finally. However, partying downtown and drinking all the beer I wanted did not happen as I had two finals in the following two days. BUT, since I did not have class, my lovely friends- Tera, Jody, and  Brandon- and I went for an epic run in Big Sur. we ran from sea level to 5500' up Cone Peak in a giant, 27 mile loop. We spent the entire day out there enjoying each other's company, the trees, the views, the few creek crossings, and so much more. My heart was so happy; I could not have asked for a better birthday. Tera brought a shot of Fireball whiskey for the top of Cone Peak in a soft flask and I had to take the shot halfway through the run. Gross. After we finished, we enjoyed ciders and the sunset over the ocean. I got a little drunk and ended up dancing along the highway 1 while waiting for Brandon to make his way back. (Long story short: He got lost and finished a couple hours later- he's OK though)

Cone Peak & BFFs 

Poppin' bottles on the side of Hwy 1

Finals wrapped themselves up neatly and pretty soon I found myself driving SLO to Portland with my belongings. This summer, I will be researching Leukemia in the Phil Knight Cancer Inst. at Oregon Health & Science Uni. I am so excited to have received this opportunity to work in a lab with some of the leading minds in cancer research. My world has been blown away by all the amazing resources, toys, and opportunities presented. From here until August 9-5 Monday through Friday, I will be learning and hopefully contributing to the search for finding a cure.

All smiles 1 mile in...

All official & shit.

Miles of Smiles in Forests

Crater Lake in all it's glory

On Fridays, I have been hitting the road and exploring some pretty rad places in Oregon. The first weekend I was here, I ran a 50km race: Mary’s Peak, just outside of Corvallis. It was a beautifully put on event and I met a lot of really cool folks in the area. The race went well for me. I had been tired from all that had been going on in May as well as school/traveling. I didn’t feel too great with headaches, stomach cramps, but I think that took the edge off the pain I was experiencing while running hard. I didn’t know the course, the competition, and had very little expectations other than to just run hard. I took in my fuel every 40 minutes and carried a water bottle. The course started with two miles screaming down a fire road then immediately jumping on a singletrack to run 3000’ up to mile 8, which was situated right on the summit of Mary’s peak. Winding through redwoods and then emerging onto a grassy summit with more wild daisies than one could imagine, I was greeted with gorgeous views 360 degrees of the Cascades and the ocean. There wasn’t much time to appreciate the view and pat myself on the back for summiting, as the race quickly turns downhill and back into the forest. I felt alive and an exhilarating freedom I hadn’t felt in a while. Floating fast over roots on a singletrack, the course went down until around mile 12. It rolled on for quite some time with little blips of ass-kicking steep climbs, which took all of 10 steps.

My new buddy, La Fawnduh

Mile 12 had an aid station, and apparently there was another at mile 17.5, but no; it didn’t come until mile 21. So, I had kinda dug myself into a dehydration hole. It didn’t affect me too much, other than slowing me down a bit. Around mile 23, there was a very steep, mile long hill that was littered with fallen trees. The trees, being at the perfect width and height, could neither be crawled under nor hopped over. So of course, I had to stop in my tracks and heave myself across the logs. At this point in the race, I was passing many of the 25km runners and several guys who had faded back from the 50km. The woman in front of me in the 50km race, Emily, had stayed at the exact same distance the whole time- constantly 7 minutes ahead. At some point in the later miles- around 27- I started to fall apart and knew I wouldn’t catch her. I kept running hard, but the final climb in the open, exposed, hot sun just about killed me. It was really a bitch-slap to the face. But, I survived. I ran 5:02, which tied the previous course record for second female and 8th overall. Emily went on to break her own course record for the win. It was a beautiful long day in the forest and exploring. My Uncle even came out to help volunteer, and it was so great to spend time with him and introduce him to trail ultra events. Strava data HERE.

The Queen & her ladies in waiting PC Tim Fitz

"Bouclair Sandwich!" PC Denise

The next weekend, I actually popped back down to California for a certain party going 100miles Squaw-Auburn. I spent all day Saturday crewing for The Queen- my amazing, fearless, and beautiful coach Meghan Arbogast. Her friend and Pacer #1 Andrea Thorpe remained my buddy for the day. She was calm, cool & collected while I was a nervous Nelly frantic to see Meghan. Maybe I had a little too much energy… Meghan ran sub 24 hours for her NINTH WS100 finish and was so inspiring to watch. I loved, loved, loved being there to see everything and soak in the race and our sport’s history- it was my first start-finish WS100 race experience! I am always taken aback by the incredulous perseverance, determination, and grit displayed by athletes as they put their bodies and minds over the cliff’s edge to test their limits. Rob Krar barely missing the CR on a hot day, Magda in her 100 mi debut, Kaci running so strong the entire day, Gunhild Swanson making the cutoff at SEVENTY years old! (Can I be her when I grow up?), Meghan gutting it out despite thinking she had a broken toe, and seeing ALL my friends! WS100 was certainly a party. Whether they were running, crewing, pacing, or just spectating, I felt like every person in the ultra community I have known & loved was out there! As well as multiple new friends!

South Sister with the other Siblings next door

Lil D recovers from WS100 with South Sister. NBD

This Cali girl hasn't seen snow in a while...

The next two weekends were filled with camping and running adventures. Denise Bourassa and her hubby Ken kindly let me stay at their house in Bend one weekend and took me on a gorgeous tour of South Sister and Green Lakes. Their friend, Scott Wolfe, took me on another tour of the last 20 miles of the Waldo 100k course. Then I camped with Denise and Ken the next weekend up near Timothy Lake by Mt Hood! (Shocked they aren’t tired of me yet) Saturday I spent 35 miles out and back on the PCT. The first and last 9 I got to run with Denise- love that woman- and ate chocolate peanut butter covered oreos at mile 30. (holy goodness I got transported to another world).

35 miles on the PCT does not disappoint.

Sunday, I accidentally found myself at the Columbia River Gorge and went for an out and back run up to Larch Mountain. It was super steep on the way up, so I took my time enjoying the trees and gorgeous waterfalls. Coming back down I was relieved to be moving a bit faster over the technical terrain as I was running out of daylight and unprepared for the dark. I came around a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Leaning up against a Redwood tree, I put my arm around it in an almost embrace. I was about 3000’ above the River and could see the sunset through the green, lush trees. The last rays of golden sunlight emanated off the green branches as the clouds slowly brightened to deeper pinks and purples. The forest was still and a bird call could be heard somewhere below me. A stream trickled nearby over some rocks. It was an emotional moment and a fabulous end to the weekend.

 

OH SO GREEN 

Why run 5 miles to finish Waldo when you can stay here?

My "First" Fifty. TNFECS Race Report

This weekend was everything I had hoped for and more. If you read my last blog post, you'd know that going into this, I was doubtful and hesitant. I had zero expectations of what would happen, and if anything, that I would blow up and fail. I was nervous and scared for the most part. CCC 100k was easier in that it was NOT that runnable due to the steepness and elevation gain, and so that made walking more efficient and totally okay.

This is usually everybody's A race. With a prize purse like that, who wouldn't put all their eggs into one basket? The competition was thick and I had no idea where I would play into all of this.

Meghan told me to go into it casually, this was not the focus, to take it easy until mile 45, then push hard.

Ma Clique. PC Brett Rivers

Friday before the race I had so much fun. I got to run with Bryon Powell, Eric Schranz, Mario Fraioli (IRunFar, UltraRunnerPodcast, Competitor Mag) as well as most of the TNF team- it was a fast taper run! whoops! After we got to collaborate in a research and development meeting about footwear and apparel. I had never been to one of these so it was super interesting! I also got to see all my SFRC friends and Mary, whom I had missed very much! My friend from NYC/VT Rachel Long flew out to do her first 50, too, so that was awesome catching up with her. All of a sudden the day had gone by and it was time for bed!

3 am. Ugh. Such an early start! I ate my oats, egg, blueberries, and coffee and my Dad and I headed to the headlands. Of course, being the rookie that I am, I forgot body glide (real smart for a wet and muddy course) and frantically had to borrow from super accomplished TNF ultra runner, Kami Semick (embarrassing!). The gun went off and we all filed out in a frenzied dash. I tried to keep it under control, but so fast! I was in the elite wave (!!), so everybody was on edge. The first two loops went by quickly and quietly. It was effortless. I got to share the sunrise with Michael Stricklan and the climb up Miwok to Tennessee Valley. That was mile 14, where I would see my crew- my mom and sister, Nicki. Wow. They were on it. Each time I saw them, Nicki would take the trash from my front pocket, my mom would put gels in my back pocket, and I would switch my water bottle for a full one. I don't think I spent more than 60 seconds at any aid station. At this point and at Cardiac later, I saw Bryon Powell taking pictures and I thought, oh no, if I'm seeing him I MUST be going way too fast! But It was such a comfortable pace! I kept thinking about an inevitable blow up...

Fast Start! PC TNFECS.

Running down the coastal trail and along the cliffs by Pirates Cove was magical. The fog and sun loved the landscape in a way I had never seen before- it was incredible. I made a friend and we talked for a bit. The he took off or I passed him, I can't quite remember. Before I knew it, I was at mile 18 at Muir Beach. Ellie Greenwood was there, unexpectedly, cheering runners on. I hit the station just under 3 hours. Which shocked me! Down the road, I saw my mom and sister cheering for me. I did not know they would be there, but it was such a welcome surprise!

Clowning around in the dark with Stricklan! (PC)

Next up was a giant climb up starting steep and then gradually tapering off to Cardiac. I thought for sure this was where the inevitable end would be. Last time I ran up this, it was an epic fail of all proportions. I was running up with a man from London, and we enjoyed some words, especially his accent! Then, I just kept running up and up and up- feeling perfectly fabulous. I caught up to Stricklan and passed him, getting some words of wisdom. At the Cardiac aid station, I grabbed some coke and refilled my bottle. The volunteers commented on how pretty my sparkly nail polish was! haha Running through Pantoll station, I again saw my mom & sis- another welcome surprise! Then onto my favorite trail in the Mt Tam area- Matt Davis.

Depiction of a "funsies" 50 mile race looks like.

Cruising through the redwoods and rushing streams was so delightful. I purposely splashed through it all! The out and back to McKennan Gulch was, in my opinion, especially tough and where I felt the worst all day. Not because it was necessarily difficult terrain or steep, but because the singletrack was so narrow and runners were whizzing past you in the opposite direction so fast. There was very little room for error. And constantly having to step up off the trail felt weird and kept me out of rhythm. However, I got to see so many familiar and smiling faces that I passed going out and back. I think this was the best part of the race, too. The community was really alive and flourishing. 99% of all people shouted out encouragements; "good job! way to go! nice work! hey kelsie! looking good! etc." It made me smile, laugh, and put a pep in my step.  Heading down into Stinson on the technical, wet trail was a little dodgy. I made a friend and we kept each other company with great conversation- he was a nurse so we had lots to talk about, which took my mind off of the task at hand.

"I'm listening to Demi!" love my crew!

Getting into the Stinson aid station, I again saw my family. I felt like I was a NFL player entering the superbowl the way that spectators were cheering and lining the road like a tunnel. Here I took two advil, which I could have done without, but I thought might be nice to take the edge off the stiffness. My new friend and I started the climb out of Stinson and up Steep Ravine. I kept thinking, okay, now this is where you'll blow up. After all, Stinson beach was mile 33.5 and I had hit my second best 50k time. But I just kept running up and soaking in the energy from the redwoods and greenery. A hiker was going down the trail and asked which way Stinson beach was. I flexed and laughingly responded in an Arnold Schwarzenneger-like voice, "The beach is that way". haha I couldn't resist and it was the PERFECT moment for that kind of stunt!

This is what 90% of the day looked like

Up at Cardiac, I prepared mentally for a long, hurting downhill back down the way we came up. By now, all the 50k-ers and marathoners were out on the course and so the trail was not only heavily trafficked, but destroyed. It was super slick, muddy, and dodgy in every way possible. On one of the sharp turns down Heather Cutoff I slipped on some mud and totally ate shit. literally. I was now covered in mud, my water bottle nozzle was brown and I was chewing on some grainy gross stuff for the remainder of the race. But I just laughed it off, thinking how silly I must look. I eventually caught up to friend Mario Diego and a female 50 miler. This gave me a little incentive to push a bit so I could stay in front of her. Finally seeing another woman after AGES sparked the competitive nature in me. However, I had a HUGE climb out of Muir Beach, so I was a bit uneasy. Up until that climb I felt like I literally had fresh legs and had just started running; the 40+ previous miles had no effect. This climb was the only spot in the race I really walked. Sure, I took a few steps here and there up steep parts, but never really, "walked". This was a grinder. I set my sights on a guy in a red singlet and tried my best to keep up fast hiking. I was getting a bit tired by the top and thankful for the downhill to Tennessee Valley, mile 45, where I'd see my family. This aid station was BUSTLING. Tons of people and so much commotion. I didn't really pay attention to anything that was going on, except for my mom and sister. I grabbed two Gus from them and my new refilled water bottle and immediately started heading up Marincello; the last climb.

All Business heading into Tennesse Valley

My eyes set on hunting down Luanne & Jon

At the start of the climb, I saw Jon Bretan, who was coming out of a rough patch. He looked at me and went, "kelsie?! okay, if you're running up this, I have to, too." And then he took off. Thank god, because I was prepared to walk this one. But I slowly tried to keep him in sights and make my way up the hill. Meghan had said to go hard the last 5 miles and so I was really pushing at this point. My ipod died, I was tired, mentally hurting and now physically feeling all of those miles before. I wouldn't call it a low point, but it definitely wasn't comfortable from here on out. As we neared the Alta aid station, I shared a couple meters with a man in an orange shirt. He told me he had two daughters and that I was super inspiring for him and that he cannot wait to tell them I was up there running with him for 50 miles. He was the one who really turned it on for me. He told me, "okay, you will definitely break 9 hours, now you have to go for it!" I'm so grateful for that extra push and boost in confidence. I took off down the hill, giving everything I had. I caught Luanne Park, fellow Tamalpan, and also Jon Bretan. We raced it in together. I felt like I was sprinting. The cheers from the finish line were audible and I was gritting my teeth. That last little uphill on the road really, really sucked. I felt like I might have kicked too early and that I'd pass out right before the finish. But I heard my name and kept going. God, that finish line felt so good. I was so happy to cross it and be done!

The Best feeling.

I finished 112th overall, 18th female, and 1st in my 20-24 age group in 8:57.03. I really was astounded at the whole day. I had so much fun, smiling, laughing, dancing and singing along the course. I got to splash through mud and make friends, while seeing so many others. The aid station volunteers and spectators were so efficient, helpful, and set the bar extremely high for all other races. I am still in shock that I felt so good for so long and so comfortable at that distance.

The damage.

Jon Bretan & I

Post race, I got to hang out with some awesome friends, share in our accomplishments, trade stories, and recover well. I even got to swim in the Pacific Ocean for "ice bath" recovery! Now, I feel perfectly fine. My body isn't sore and I have no fatigue. So, I am super excited for Bandera 100km the first weekend of January! Western States ticket, I'm coming for you!

Rob Krar & I

Blue Skirt Posse- this chica is awesome!

This race and weekend wouldn't be possible with all the friends & family that support me so much. I am so grateful to my family as they are my #1 fans and the best support crew! My coach, Meghan Arbogast, has the best advice, and knows how to push me hard in training in just the right way. We work so well together and she is ever so patient with some of my whining and self-doubts! My trail running family up in the bay offers encouragement and advice that I would be lost without. A big thank you to The North Face for giving me the confidence and believing in my goals as an athlete.

Gear used:
TNF better than naked singlet & skirt
TNF arm warmers & Ultra Cardiac shoes
Petzl Tikka RXP headlamp
Nathan 18oz handheld bottle (2)
S! caps every hour
14 Gu gels (every 40 min, then every 30min 2nd Cardiac on)
coke 3x at various aid stations
Stance compression 1/4 calf socks.
Taylor Swift & Drake & Others on the iPod shuffle

Before the shenanigans... Heading into TNFECS 50miler.

Wowie. Is it already December?!
This quarter flew by. It seemed that just the other day I was admiring the chamois on Brevent and sipping espressos in Italy... Then again, the days have been dragging on at school while I've been away in dreamland...

Though who could complain with these trails?!

I can't believe I'm already at raceweek for my "first" 50 miler. I haven't really given it that much thought other than occasional panic attacks and general dreading of how slow it could potentially be. This quarter, post CCC, has gotten off to a rocky and less ideal start with Mono and Lyme disease, but I believe I have an iron horse of an immune system and beat them both into submission. This garnered me at least one solid month or so of consistent training. I trust in it 100%. however this is also not a goal race. Bandera 100k is what I am thinking about on my long runs and before bed when I'm doing core staring up at the ceiling... I want that ticket to WS100!! Let's hope I can curb back my competitive spirit!



I am super excited to see what happens in the next month, at TNF50 and Bandera. Each week, I've been building my miles, putting in some vert, while also dropping my times in my workouts. My workouts have been fabulous. Its the one day of the week I truly look forward to. I am so excited to be running faster, negative splitting, feeling confident-free-strong-relaxed while consistently surprising myself. (I think the best part is that now I also don't need to take a two hour nap after!)

See you at mile 30. Muir Woods via Dipsea Trail

The only downside to the past couple weeks is that I've been running, for the most part, solo. Most ultra runners swear by running solo and they "truly" enjoy it. Yeah, that's good and all sometimes, but I love talking, playing, sharing my adventures! I can be a pansy sometimes and need someone with me to help keep me sane and away from doubtful thoughts, too. Because of my training, work and school schedule, running with friends is typically the only real "social" outlet I have. However, my training partners have been tapering/recovering from awesome performances, so that is inspiring me to work hard just to keep up!

I love my friends. PC Tera Dube

So, it's the end of the quarter, TNF50 is here, and I am in a completely unproductive, uncontrollable, state of high energy craziness. Cheers to a fabulous weekend of mud, miles, friends & lots of shenanigans!

PS On another note, I am in the IrunFar women's preview!!!! Though my name is just a footnote, watch out, maybe soon it will be under the headline! ;)

Pre TNF10k 2010. My 1st trail race

Running with Mono

Two weeks ago, I found the reason I had been feeling so crappy lately: I have mono. Mono is a virus that is transmitted primarily through saliva- sharing drinks, meals, etc. Once you get mono, the virus is always in your system, but it is just inactive. It can be reactivated through physical exertion, compromising the immune system, and high stress. People that are infected with mono typically are exhausted all the time; and the only real remedy is lots and lots of sleep and rest. It can last from weeks to months and the severity of the symptoms range greatly.

It's affecting my running- I can't run on flat roads!

According to my blood test, this is the second time I have had mono, however I cannot remember when I would have had it the first time! My guess is that I got it reactivated either right before my CCC race (I was sick ALL raceweek) or the race pushed my immune system and bodily stress over the edge with the lack of sleep, physical exertion, weather, etc. The lines are blurry between race fatigue and mono fatigue, so I am unsure as to when I got it. However, my doctor said anywhere from four weeks ago to 2.5 months ago. I also apparently have Lyme disease, which is bacterial infection most commonly transmitted by tick bites (guess I should go bushwacking to find new trails!). It can be cured by early treatment of doxycycline antibiotics, but it also causes great fatigue. So, in short, there is a small party of virus and bacteria in me that is raging so hard I need to sleep all the time.

My heart was happy here

My best friends

I don't have too drastic of symptoms though. I'm tired, mostly in the afternoon, but with naps and long nights of sleep I'm fine. I can handle my schoolwork and my training and work. If I do too much in a day without much of a break then I get super fatigued, but I am exercising the concept of listening to my body. If I feel like I am digging myself in a hole or my run feels like more of a drag, then I will just turn around and wait for another day. Two wednesdays ago I was supposed to do mile repeats hard with a HR monitor to see where I was at. I only did 3/4 of the ones assigned. The third one was so much slower and I was so spent by then. During my recovery jogs in between I literally felt like I was going to fall asleep. So I stopped and just did my cool down. Thursday I did not run. I was so stressed and had three big tests spread over an 8 hour period of straight class & lab. It just wasn't going to happen when I got out of class at 8pm. All that weekend I was so exhausted and didn't have the time to run the miles given with all the sleep I needed.

These fall colors, unreal!

This past week I put in all my required miles, which felt like such an incredible accomplishment! However, my wednesday workout was again crap. But I am working on that! This weekend I took a little getaway to Tahoe. After work on Saturday night I drove up to the mountains and crashed on Rory Bosio's couch (She is the most generous and sweetest!). She had just finished a hospital shift so she spent the day sleeping in and other activities while I joined my coach Meghan Arbogast and Mark for a run. It was a lovely "22" miles (garmin read 21- were calling it 22) from Spooner lake, up to Marlette Lake, through the aspens to Snow Valley Peak, then back along the TRT course to Spooner.
My heart was soaring with happiness to run through the lovely trees, the fall colors, the glistening lake and smooth granite. I danced through the first 13 miles smiling, laughing, and skipping along.  However, I hit a wall of exhaustion. I normally never feel any fatigue from the altitude, but this was definitely due to my compromised immune system. My legs were fine, but I felt like I was sleepwalking at some points! It was a fabulous day and I loved running with Meghan. The next morning, I got to do a short loop in Rory's backyard up Donner pass and it was great! I felt way better and like I could do that loop again and again. It was sad to leave the mountains and head back to SLO, but it is like I am emotionally recharged.

Meghan charging ahead

Queen on her throne

It's hard because I have so many goals and obviously want to be the best I can be in several areas- school, running, and my job. It's hard that I am not consciously in control, my immune system is. I can't force myself to study for more than four hours at a time, which sets me back in the competition for As. My workouts, which before gave me such joy and accomplishment, are crap and a struggle. My long runs aren't all that long and I grow more tired as the miles go on. However, I guess this can be a sort of character building experience. It is so emotionally vexing to not be in control and frustrating to be trying so hard, but to no avail. It is also hard to deal with since I have not done anything in terms of causing injury, but I guess abide by time. A lesson in patience, which I am so bad with. I'll give it my best effort, but I guess eventually it will show.

Anyone up for a swim?