LD50- "Leona Divide 50m" or "Lethal Dose 50%." Take Your Pick.

Disclaimer: Some content and language is not suitable for children under the age of 18.

Leona Divide 50m came and went on Saturday. I was super excited for this race. Other than track 5ks, I've never raced southern California. I was especially excited to get on the PCT trail- the pictures I furiously google image & race report stalked were gorgeous.

Drawing course maps > Studying

The weekend before the race, as if I wasn't nervous enough, I got sick. I was congested, super tired, and felt overall very very crappy. For me, when I get sick, I still regain a high level of functionality and can go about daily activities (work, school) fine, but running sucks and I feel terrible. I took sunday off and tried blasting my system with every immune-boosting thing I could think of. I chugged EmergenC like it was coffee- my life depended on it. Tuesday I attempted a very light track workout but was so slow, heavy and wrecked. I took pretty much the rest of the week off & laid low after advice from Stephanie Howe and other friends.

Friday I shook out for 20 minutes and drove down with my (much more sick) roommate to her house in Simi Valley. I stayed the night there then woke very, very early after a fitful, nervous, not very sound sleep to drive the rest of the way to Santa Clarita.

I was pumped. I was excited, feeling a bit better and ready to go. I was so thrilled to test my limits in a 50 miler (I ran TNF50 for "fun" and just cruised comfortably & casually). I had so much confidence in myself and really, really trusted in my training. Meghan's advice was to challenge myself. Who knew that that would take on a whole new meaning....

Obviously too optimistic Pre-race

Seeing friends Billy Yang and Gina Lucrezi at the start was so welcome as I didn't know anybody else. Gina and I started out together, we were in the lead, and I tried my hardest to take it casual in the beginning. We were running up 2.75m to the PCT trail and then would go out and back in both directions. (See course map for reference so you know what the heck I'm talking about if you are not familiar with this course). I stopped to pee and she kept going, so I was just content on keeping her in my sights. I ran a couple miles with Billy, which was super fun, and I loved talking to someone. Though, he turned at the first aid station for the 50k and I had to keep going. At this point, I was feeling "alright". I assumed it was just a matter of shaking off the cobwebs from not running at all in the past week, and that soon I would be warmed up. (Again, would take on a different meaning once the sun came fully out).

Going up the hill from that AS, the woman who would go on to win, passed me. I was kind of struggling to get a rhythm and tried talking to her to bring myself to a better place, but she just replied, "sorry but I'm breathing out of my ass!" I let her go and figured I could definitely catch her on the downhill, my specialty. We had a 6 mile downhill to the second AS, at mi 17.5, which was also the first turnaround. On the downhill, my legs were not responsive. I stumbled over rocks and was cursing myself. On the previous climb I was wishing I hadn't even started, as a DNF idea was being entertained. Multiple guys passed me on the downhill and I could barely pick my feet up. Everything was so forced! By this point, I had tucked my skirt into the liner shorts (Real attractive look. Seriously, holla at me boys) because I was just so frustrated with life and hot and not having a good time. Misery at it's "finest." I saw Gina close to the AS on her return as well as the blue-skirt lady and exchanged high fives and words of mumbled encouragement (It was already BLAZING balls hot out.) Gina was 12 minutes in front of me at that point. I don't know why I didn't think to drop there, maybe I told myself I'd keep going, to at least get SOME mileage out of a taper week and training. But then I also had to go up that god-forsaken 6 mi hill. FML.

Cause sparkles make you faster, duh.

At first, I struggled. But then I just set my sights low on pace and chugged. Surprisingly, I managed and got up it in around 70mins. I was definitely off my suspected 8 hr pace, but the guy I strava stalked made it up in the same time, so I gave myself a little pat on the back for that. At this point, a woman, Ms. Neon shirt, came up and was topping out the hill with me. We ran for a stretch along the top but she gapped me towards the middle of the downhill back to the aid station. At this point in time, I had already written a DNF race report in my head, played out my phone conversation with Meghan, and accepted deep in my heart that I would DNF for the first time and not finish my 9th ultra. I reasoned that several runners have DNFed on a not-so great day and that it was fine; I'd live to fight another day, another race... I stumbled down the hill, not so much from my heavy legs, but from the tears building up in my eyes. I was crushed in every aspect of the word.

I came upon the aid station, mi 26, in the midst of cheers and horns and cowbells. What should have been a spirit booster and ragin' good time. They asked me what they could do and I just started sobbing, repeating "I don't want to finish". They sat me down in a chair and put ice on my back, while I cried my heart out. I can't remember the last time I cried that hard. Usually, when it is hot and dry, my nose bleeds. (My nose was a bloody boogery mess the whole day- right from the start). So, I was spewing blood, boogers, snot and tears all over this poor volunteer. She was force feeding me coke and otter pops (holy good lord those were effing amazing). Back up on the hill, when I knew I wouldn't continue, I stopped eating and drinking. Big time No No. (By the time I reached the AS I hadn't consumed calories in 1.5hrs). I sat there crying for 20 mins while this saint talked to me about all things- her grad studies, where I studied, where we were from, a story about a cute guy, everything. The tears subsided as I had nothing left. She kept asking me every 5 mins or so if I was ready to get back out there, and I kept responding "No, I'm done. I suck. I don't want to go. I want to go home". She never said okay, she just said well lets wait some more. At one point I stopped my watch, knowing it was final and resolute that I would drop.

This was probably the lowest point I've ever, ever reached in my career as an athlete. (Aside from season-ending injuries). I've never spent more than 10 minutes at an AS and I spent at least 45 there. She kept asking me if I was ready to go and my resolve was getting weaker and weaker. She said, "hey, so I've been dying to get out for a run, you can run out with me for three miles and can turn around and come back at any point, but I will go out three miles. Come with me." I got so fed up with sucking and being miserable and I have no idea why the hell, but I obliged and we set off. I took an otter pop to go and we started booking up the trail. I felt great. Not super fresh, but way better. We had a great conversation, but then three miles flew by. She told me go catch that guy and then she would turn around. (We were passing people like they stood still). I caught him and she bid me farewell with the best hug. I was so grateful. I knew then that I would finish. My time goals and competition goals were completely thrown out of the 87th floor window, but I knew I would get through it. I was happy.

But that doesn't mean that the last 22 were smooth sailing on an otter pop high.... I ran the rest of the way up to that T junction and the AS. I filled my water, grabbed Gu and two cokes. Unfortunately, they did not have otter pops at any other station. I continued on to the last turn around. Go ahead, look at the elevation profile the course website boasts. No. False. That is not an accurate representation of what we suffer through. What seems like small rollies with a short climb, for good measure, to the finish was actually long climbs wrapping exposed mountains. For instance, I'd come around a turn and my initial thoughts would be, "wow! what gorgeous mountains! god, I need to make a mental note of exploring SoCal more!" Low, and behold, we would be waddling our sorry, broken asses up and over those far and distant mountains... I would see a stripe of trail weaving up, of course, one hill and I'd say "nahhhhhh we couldn't *POSSIBLY* be going up there! that's too far..." Then I'd see small dots moving up it. Bloody hell. I was pretty slow heading out to that turn around, I'd walk on some of the uphill, but at least I was generally moving and passing all the 50k-ers. I kept waiting to see the first 50 milers (Cause then I knew I was at least somewhat close to the oasis, I mean Aid station...) Sure enough, after what seemed like eternities, the 50 milers began passing me on their return. I saw the first and second woman. I talked with Neon Shirt for a bit, and encouraged her to chase down the blue skirt lady (They were 20 mins apart).

Oh HELL yeah!

I got to the AS 10 mins later and saw F3 leave. So I thought I was 4th. I quickly filled my bottles and headed out. (Of course after dumping ice down my sports bra and down my "shorts". (Real interesting while running...)) I walked up that short little climb to recoop and process mentally that I only had 10 miles to go. (Good god I was so excited to be done). Then I started running and didn't really stop... That last part went by a lot quickly than before. So, I'll just give you the highlights: after the ice melted a guy thought I peed my pants, I got stung by a bee on my boob, I found out I could jump at mi 44 when I stumbled upon a rattlesnake, and some woman told me "wow you're doing the 50 miler? You look like a goddess!" (It was definitely due to my glorious sun burn radiating from my bloody, sweaty and salty skin). I quickly found out that I was actually 6th female, as I passed two other 50mi runners that I hadn't seen previously. The last woman I passed was walking up a short incline less than two miles from the finish. I had no idea what her legs were like so I was scared that she would catch me. I ran those last two miles like a herd (?) of snakes were chasing me, licking my heels. Once I hit the pavement, with 1.25 mi of pure downhill to go, I let loose. I could smell the barn, as Tera Dube said of her sprint finish at LS50 last weekend. I could taste my blood-booger encrusted lips as I couldn't help but grin ear to ear like a doped out dweeb. I rounded the corner and finished. I had actually freaking finished. Unfortunately, I did not have my mom or dad with me, and was caught in an embrace by RD Keira Henninger and a medic. I kept saying "I finished! I finished!" like some lunatic as they dragged me to a chair. She gave me my medal and 4th overall Female mug, which were beautifully crafted. I congratulated her on an amazing event with an ass-kicking-ly brutal course.

Thanks Keira Henninger for a great event!

I finished 4th female, and something like 9:37 hours. I won my age group (20-29) and beat enough guys to be 25th overall. I am so, so proud to have been able to finish that thing and come out alive. I didn't feel right all day, but still developed a deeper, richer mental strength to use in my impending 100 mile race. I have such an overwhelming amount of love, gratitude and respect to the tireless, energetic & saintly volunteers who really made this day happen for me. Whelp. I challenged myself. I feel I did not run to my potential or ability, which is a bit upsetting and disappointing. I know I can run a lot faster and be more a more aggressive competitor, but given the conditions and my health/mental state, I am just glad to have finished. I don't feel as completely wrecked (save a few blisters and sore feet), so I'm excited to get back out there and try, try again for the next adventure. (Cause, if at first you don't succeed...)

I have an appetite to be my absolute best and push my boundaries, and it's only gotten stronger. Now I really am determined for retribution at the 50 mile distance!

Tiger wearing my lucky T Shirt

HUGE thank you to everyone who supports and encourages me. I really thought about a lot of you and it definitely helped pull me through the rough patches. I am so, so thankful to have so many friends and people in my life that are so inspirational and encouraging- I don't know what I do to deserve it, but I love, love having you all in my life.

Strava data found HERE.

Gear Used:
Stance mid crew socks
TNF Better than naked skirt, singlet, Stow N Go bra
TNF Ultra Cardiac shoes
Julbo Sunglasses
Salomon pack & Soft flasks
1 smooth caffeinator Picky Bar
1 Clif gel every 30 mins
1 salt S!Cap every 30-40 mins
Too many to count Cups of Coke
4 green otter pops, 1 orange. (Pink is my favorite)

"Born To Die"- Marin Ultra Challenge 50k

"Feet don't fail me now, Take me to the finish line

Oh my heart it breaks, every step that I take"

-Lana Del Rey

It was totally fitting that Lana del Rey's song Born to Die and those lyrics were the first song I heard when I pressed play on my ipod. It was dark and I was pitter pattering behind Jenny Capel and another lady. We were winding up the first climb under the lights of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was spectacular. It was also starting to hurt.

Ready to Roll with my lucky T shirt.

Toeing the line at the Marin Ultra Challenge 50k I didn't quite know what to expect. Being the weekend after dead week and before finals week, I didn't exactly have the time to do extensive homework on this race. Before the race began, I studied the course map and sharpied the outline of six hills on my arm so I could keep track. (Elevation tat old school style)

Going up that first hill, right from the start, was definitely a good kick in the rear to wake up and get running. I lost contact with Jenny but kept her within sight. Winding up the SCA trail towards Coastal reminded me a lot of CCC- with little lights zip zagging their way up the hill and melting in with the stars. I was so happy that I had managed to last minute find my headlamp in the depths of my car. Going downhill, I let gravity do it's work and rolled along towards Fort Kronkite. It was getting a little bit more light out, enough that I could switch off the headlamp. I had a very short conversation with one guy who asked if I was doing the 50 mile. I laughed and said, looking at my watch, if I were in the 50 mile I would be in deep trouble later. He laughed and replied, "I'm in the 50k, too, but I'm starting to think I'll be in trouble anyways"

I had almost caught back up with Jenny, but the man and her skirted up Hill 88, or as I like to refer to it, "the hill of eighty-hates". I hate that climb, no matter what distance race I am doing. Stairs, steepness, soul-suckingness. I powerwalked the stairs and somehow made it up the rest of the climb. I was heavily rewarded with one of the most stunning sunrises I've seen; gorgeous colors in crisp air veiled Mt. Tam and the hills on that side, as well as golden sunlight caressing the Headlands and setting fire to San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge.

Home sweet home. Thanks Daddy!

Taking in the sunrise, I was also greeted by Kara Teklinsky and her friends out for a run- I got a nice high five from her. (Thank you! Made my morning!) Heading downhill on Wolf Ridge, something in my stomach wasn't right. I had started taking in my gels at forty minute intervals with one right before the start, and a salt tab the first hour (and then subsequently at forty minute intervals). Unfortunately, my usual breakfast was too heavy for that kind of big effort and fast exertion. (steel cut oats with almond butter, blueberries, scrambled egg, coffee & almond milk). It made it known that that was the cause, if you know what I mean. This was at mile 8ish, but I only had stopped for less than three seconds, and continued rolling downhill towards Tennessee Valley. At that aid station I filled my bottle and continued down the road towards Coastal. I wasn't feeling comfortable or very good at all. I took a glance at my watch and apparently I was going 7:20 pace. Well no wonder! I didn't really slow down though... At this point, I was running alone; I had passed a couple men, but nobody stuck with me. My shorts had been falling down on all the downhills and "flats", which was super frustrating, but I didn't dare stop to try and fix them... Oh, well.

Jorge telling people what to do and me studying. Typical.
PC Michael Stricklan

I have always known Coastal from Tennessee Valley to Muir Beach to be deceptively tough. Though, I think going into that section knowing it would be tough, made it not seem AS bad... I still wasn't feeling great going along here, probably just the uncomfortable-ness of running hard and nearing the halfway point. So, to compensate, I took a Clif Double shot espresso gel at my forty minute mark. I took two with me as these guys work "magic" as my emergency revival reserves. At Muir Beach, I was ready to go.

Running down the road and along Redwood Creek, I felt I was moving pretty well. My stride felt good and I was happy to be back in my favorite place. In the weeks prior since Bandera, Meghan has given me some fun workouts and they've really boosted my confidence. One of them, I had struggled to do in the past year when she had given it to me, but in February, I nailed it and so I had that happiness in my back pocket. She's been such an incredible coach & role model in my life- I can't believe its only been ONE year that she's coached me! I thought about her a lot and tried to channel her TOUGHness & Badassery. On this section of trail, I passed several men (I kept hoping to run back into Jenny, but she is just too good on the climbs!). I took one unmarked turn and thought I had gotten lost. However, I knew where the next climb was and that the trail would take me there, so I kept going. (Don't worry, I was still on course after all; benefits of racing home turf!) Heading up Miwok (pronounced "Me-Walk"), I was struggling. I was in the paincave and had been from the get go. I was trying to hold on for dear life. I had the worst cramps ever (period pains I'm pretty sure) but it could've been from the Gu. I just didn't want to eat at all, but I knew I had to. I kept wanting to slow down or stop, but I knew that I was already in this so I couldn't quit, and to run faster would mean I would finish faster.

Coastal mid Gu.
PC Nate Dunn

Reaching the top, I was ecstatic. One of my favorite downhills in Marin was Dias Ridge trail to Muir Beach (again). I was running at full speed down, sliding around the switchback turns. If I wasn't in so much discomfort, I would've had a lot of fun with that. There was one man who was with the SFRC group run that talked to me for a bit. He was telling me about his Ragnar team and how he was training for that. He was also talking about his Way Too Cool 50k and who won and how everybody in the area did (I didn't have the energy to tell him I already knew- haha!). He was very nice and cheered for me / shouted encouragements when I was heading into the Muir aid station. (He was peeling off to head up what I call the "Muir Bitch Climb"- Thank god we didn't have to do that). On this little out and back I finally saw Jenny! I knew I was close! I rushed in, filled my bottle, grabbed a dixie cup of coke and rushed out ASAP.

The entire time going up Middle Green Gulch ("Middle Mean Gulch"), I could see her little black skirt and blue singlet weaving above me. She is too tough on those climbs and I couldn't catch back up. Heading back down to Tennessee Valley I was in a world of pain.

The song playing on my ipod resonating deeply:

"Hold on tight, it's a roller coaster ride we're on.

So say goodnight, cause we won't be back again.

Up and Down (I'm) All around,

Say Goodnight And Goodbye" - Jonas Brothers

Finalllllllyyyyyyy

I was grunting up Marincello and probably making a scene but I didn't care. (I have no nicknames for Marincello other than some special words). The hill seemed never ending because as soon as it was finished, come Alta, and then the deceivingly not flat or downhill SCA. At the top of Marincello I heard someone call my name and I forget what she said, but it turned out to be Lauri! (Thanks girl!) It was really nice to hear a familiar voice and was the kick in my butt I needed to get into higher gear. I was almost done, I could push extra hard now. On Alta, I saw Mrs. Semling, a teacher from my high school out for a hike. She said good job on my "fifteen mile run" (didn't have the energy to correct her, nor was I able to form words) and said she'd tell Mary Churchill, my high school coach & friend, that I was doing well- haha little did she know I had plans with Mary for later!

Once I hit the SCA trail going down to the bridge parking lot, I tried to let it all hang out there. I had no water left, and less than two miles to go. That downhill hurt like a bitch. Just when I was getting to the parking lot though, I saw Dylan Bowman on a stretcher and an ambulance/ fire truck crew helping him with Harmony. I had no idea what had happened, but it freaked me out seeing him like that! (He had suffered in the heat and had severe dehydration, but is on the mend now and thankfully okay!)

aaaaannnndddd I'm going down....

Winding down the road towards the finish, under the Golden Gate Bridge, I caught sight of Jenny. I was determined to catch her. I ignored the sirens going off in my legs and tried to move faster, faster faster... She just kept getting out of reach each turn! According to my watch, I was running 6:20 pace trying to catch her- damn her legs can just keep rolling out of reach! I finished the race 30 seconds behind her in 5:06 for 4th place women's, 24th overall, and 2nd (well that's a first!!) in the 20-29 AG. I immediately sat down on the ground and a couple people came over to say goodjob. (I don't exactly remember, but I do know that Victor came over asking if I'd lie down in a fetal position for another picture haha!) My legs hurt a LOT after, but I was so happy to be done and so happy I was able to push myself and keep pushing myself. I got to chat with friends after the race and was so happy to see them. However, it was short lived as I had to wake up at 4:45 am to drive back to SLO for work the next morning (boy was that rough), and study for finals (ugh). I had wanted really badly to think about or talk with fellow racers about stuff that will be covered on my Immunology final, but I was literally unable to think , I was in such an incapacitated brain fog!

Next up, I have Leona Divide 50m! I'm so excited to explore SoCal's trails and try at another 50m distance- this time actually racing it! I also have registered for Pine to Palm 100m and I'm very much looking forward to that.

What Finals Week does to you....

HERE is my strava data from the race.

It's a known fact Sparkles make you faster

Gear Used:

TNF Ultra "Heart Attack" Cardiac shoes

Stance mid-calf compression socks

TNF Better than Naked shorts & Stow N Go Bra (to hold my Gu and ipod!)

Gu- Salted Watermelon x3, Roctane x2, Clif Double Shot Espresso x2. 

S!Caps kept in my Nathan water bottle

Whoops Julbo sunglasses & Petzl Tikka RXP headlamp